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I've experienced pretty much the same problem and what fixed it for me was Archive Invalidation.
Using Oblivion Mod Manager, go to Utilities and then Archive Invalidation.
There I selected BSA redirection and hit the update now.
After that the crash went away.
If you ever try to install those mods again and experiences the crashes again, give this a try.
Also I fixed the CTD on startup, there was a corrupted file being autoloaded from OBMM.
There's only one issue left, I semi-consistently crash when leaving or loading even with the stutter fixer, I fear eventually the game will become corrupt or something like that, any tips to keep it stable?
Additionally, OCO needs some compatability patches to work with the expansions, if you use those. I don't think that would cause the crashes, but it could be useful for you. Below is the link.
http://www.nexusmods.com/oblivion/mods/46249/?
There is a guide on the Nexus that is pretty useful for setting up for modding your game. It is meant for a full overhaul, but the opening sections deal with load order, Wyre Bash, OBMM, and other important things. I reccommend checking it out too. Below is the link.
http://www.nexusmods.com/oblivion/mods/47591/?
Also, I think LOOT is a better sorting tool, personally. You could check that out if you want.
Finally, I recommend using Wrye Bash in addition to OBMM. It makes things so simple in my opinion. I believe it runs BOSS internally which is convenient, though LOOT is my preferred sorter, as I mentioned above.
I run a mod setup similar to your, though I don't have MOO or HGEC. If I think of anything else I'll let you know. :P
I feel you're pain. Over the years, I've pulled out enough hair from dealing with modding problems to create a 1:1 scale effigy of myself.
I have used MoreHeap, as I was dealing with crashing every 20 min or so. Installing it has completely removed the crashing for me. You could give it a try. I recommend adjusting its INI file to allow 512 instead of the default 256.
http://www.nexusmods.com/oblivion/mods/44985/?
Thank you! I didnt know that patch existed.
Loot isnt good when used with Oblivion, some mods that needs to be high in the load order ends up in the botton and it misses mods that needs to cleaned. BOSS is still updated and puts the mods in correct order.
Wrye Bash is the tool to use. Its said to be "super hard" but if you can drag and drop files in windows Explorer you are all set tbh :)
Have a look at my modlist/tutorial there you will se a good video of how to simply use Wrye bash. http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=971312438
Best of luck OP, Ive felt the same but if you take your time and read the readmes and install one mod at the time you will soon be all set :) Dont give up
Its scary becuase it doesn't have a slick acronym lke everything else in the TES Modding community ;)