Secrets FAQ! Spoilers!

[rollyscrolly]

Because people are asking the same questions over and over!

What are all the known endings?
Check out this flowchart: http://www.reddit.com/tb/1osvxv
Please look there before asking if anyone else got the ending you got.

Is there any way to stop the self-destruct countdown?
Not as far as anyone has found. That door can be opened, but there's nothing behind it but an invisible wall and an empty hallway.

UNACHIEVABLE ACHIEVEMENT?!?!?!?
Here's an explanation of how the code works: http://steamcommunity.com/app/221910/discussions/0/792924412213692581/#c792924412365452754
Here's a possible cheaty way to get it: http://steamcommunity.com/app/221910/discussions/0/792924412213692581/#c792924412365672988
TL;DR: your best bet to get it legitimately is probably to save and reload a zillion times somewhere in map1. F6 is quicksave and F7 is quickload, fyi. You need to have been to the apartment before, and you may need to have completed a particular ending first - looks like they're still working on figuring that out.

How do I use the console?
Right-click the game in your Steam library, select Properties, go to "Set Launch Options...", and type "-console" (without the quotes.) Using sv_cheats 1 will have an amusing effect. You can keep doing it a few times for additional dialogue. You can also type "imabird" to get the floating effect from the crazy ending, "bark" to replace the typing click sound with a dog noise, and "raphael 1" to replace all voice clips with the narrator just saying "Stanley" over and over. If you want to actually use cheats, try here http://steamcommunity.com/app/221910/discussions/0/792924412325350035/ or here http://steamcommunity.com/app/221910/discussions/0/792924412089871548/#c792924412093835652

Is there any way to use the nightshark11 password?
Probably not. That door doesn't lead anywhere. Keep shouting at your microphone if it makes you feel better, though.

How do I get to Heaven?
There are 5 computers around the game that you need to activate. Only one can be activated per playthrough, so you need to restart several times to get them all. The first two are in the second office area, the third is at the boss's secretary's desk, the fourth is in the first office area, and the fifth is in Stanley's office right where you start.

Where can I get the audio of the narrator and/or the music?
..\Steam\steamapps\common\The Stanley Parable\thestanleyparable\sound

Does the elevator in the boss's office go anywhere?
It would appear not.

How do I get the speedrun achievement?
Do the ending where you follow all the narrator's instructions. Then quicksave and quickload right before the end.
If you want to do it more legitimately, there are three ways to make it faster:

• After going through the boss's office enough times, the narrator will just open the door for you when you get there without making you use the keypad, saving quite a bit of time.
  
• There are several variations of the beginning area that appear randomly when you start a new game. Keep reloading until you get the one where the two doors are directly down the hallway from Stanley's office, skipping the first few rooms.
  
• In the room with all the monitors, you can climb onto the desk on the platform with the first button and jump down onto the walkway before it comes up, so you don't have to wait for the gate to open. Careful, though - if you fall down to the bottom of the map, you'll be stuck and have to restart.

8?
88888888

The Confusion Ending timer shows 8 restarts, but it only seems to go through the first 4?
After the 5th restart, the game seems to revert to normal (besides the Adventure Line being visible through one of the windows). Nobody's found any evidence of the stuff the timer lists after that.

~Other fun things to try~

• In the hallway with room 417, close both doors.
  
• Type "facepunch" (it doesn't have to be in the console, just at any time).
  
• Trap yourself in the Portal room by leaning the cube against the door and pushing the button so that it falls in with the door closed behind it.
  
• Sometimes the phone on Employee 434's desk will ring, and you can answer it to get three possible messages.
  
• In the cargo area, walk onto the platform long enough to start it moving and then immediately back off onto the ledge so that it leaves without you.
  
• Click on the first framed painting after taking the left path at the first choice.
  
• In the room with the monitors, wait a while after the elevator comes without getting on it. The gates on the catwalks will eventually open again. Go back and press the first button again.
  
• In the stairway suicide ending, keep going back into the starfield room between jumps and the narrator will say some different stuff.
  
• Enter 2845 on the boss's keypad before the narrator tells you the code.
  
• Go into the broom closet. Then go into the broom closet again. Keep going into the broom closet.

Useful threads:
Trying to get to later restarts of the Confusion Ending: http://steamcommunity.com/app/221910/discussions/0/792924412056800570/
Trying to activate something new with the escape pod: http://steamcommunity.com/app/221910/discussions/0/792924412475344603/
The mystery of Employee 432: http://steamcommunity.com/app/221910/discussions/0/792924412234307829/

Other resources:
Official devblog: http://www.stanleyparable.com/devblog/
Developer twitter: https://twitter.com/HelloCakebread
Subreddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/stanleyparable
Developer Reddit AMA: http://www.reddit.com/r/Games/comments/1p095a/we_are_the_designers_and_narrator_of_the_stanley/
GameFAQs forum: http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/727960-the-stanley-parable

[Buzerio]

You should probably also mention that noone has got past the 5th restart of the confusion ending yet (if possible) incase someone comes here with it figured out and thinks it's already been figured out

[rollyscrolly]

Good point - just added it.

[AoM]

We actually do know the conditions under which the unachieveable achievement triggers. Check the Unachieveable IS Achieveable thread.

[rollyscrolly]

Oh, neat! Last time I checked that thread, people were still with the conspiracy theories about the rain. I'll add that too.

[DaVince]

Sometimes the phone on Employee 434's desk will ring, and you can answer it to get three possible messages.

- One about ordering 1000 cardboard boxes (and them arriving the next time around)
- One is your wife, asking for the groceries.
- One is a recorded message about the dangers of recorded messages.

But... I could have sworn there was a fourth one I heard... Is it just me?

[AoM]

It should be noted that in either case of the unachieveable one, you must have reached the apartment.

[rollyscrolly]

Originally posted by DaVince:

Sometimes the phone on Employee 434's desk will ring, and you can answer it to get three possible messages.

- One about ordering 1000 cardboard boxes (and them arriving the next time around)
- One is your wife, asking for the groceries.
- One is a recorded message about the dangers of recorded messages.

But... I could have sworn there was a fourth one I heard... Is it just me?

I haven't heard of a fourth one. Do you remember what it said?

Originally posted by AoM:

It should be noted that in either case of the unachieveable one, you must have reached the apartment.

Thanks, added that too.

[DaVince]

No... I'm breaking my head over it. It might very well be I heard the recorded message twice, and just forgot the first time...

Edit: yup, I was wrong. The audio files indicate there are three things that happen.

[rollyscrolly]

Added some additional links.

[fraggyb]

Quickest way to get the speedrun cheevo is quicksave at the end, then quickload!

[rollyscrolly]

Wow, really? And after all that time I spent restarting the game to get the faster beginning...