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One of you can also try creating an open session while other manually searches in lobby list and then connects through it.
If nothing works try changing Steam's download server in settings. And both of you should pick the same one.
http://puu.sh/mnFeA/0861a6c449.jpg Always this... Any other ideas?
We can connect to anyone pretty much but each other lol (only in this game) so it really doesn't make much sense.
http://steamcommunity.com/app/221040/discussions/0/616187839500933823/
And your problem is very unique and makes no sense. I don't think I can able to suggest any useful fix (maybe wiping the game, moving it to other partition, disabling firewall entirely, connecting internet directly without a router, putting router in DMZ).
There's 1 workaround if you desperate enough.
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=524888620
This guide shows how to make local coop work online that is if at least one of you has a decent nvidia card.
You said, you could join other players. Maybe your case is different than mine. Try anyways. I have game set to "only friends".
I never was bothered what download location I have set while play games. I do not think that it does matter but I will considerate this, if I get the problem.
Otherwise, your advice : "putting router in DMZ" can not be possible, cause Steam does not support this.
https://support.steampowered.com/kb_article.php?ref=5483-YUFN-0521
https://support.steampowered.com/kb_article.php?s=4d58c8913a0cc7309ff05cd2b8d23891&ref=1456-EUDN-2493
Games for Windows live was bad, but when I played this game through it, at least, we could join and re-join, and we had not to replay alone parts so be able to re-join again. Game saves only at special points.
Thanks for Steamworks, of course, as GFWL does not exist anymore, but it is not well done.
I've used DMZ several times when playing with a Chinese friend via RE6. And the ping between us seemed better, less network lag. Steam still does function with DMZ enabled, I also tried on L4D2 a few times.