Some criticisms about the story/narrative (spoilers)

[Quetz]

• The MC can tell Miranda that he suspects she set everything up, and I wish the narrative leaned a bit more into this when the player decides to be uncooperative with her. Similarly, when talking to Ada the first time, she might not be saying anything he doesn't realize already.
  
• Miranda's route needs a bit of a cleanup, certainly if the player rejects her. Despite my MC being distant, not kissing her, refusing to give her information, and saying a hooker looked better than her, he still tried to make a move on her in chapter 3. Of course, she shuts him down and says to keep things professional.
  
• If the MC didn't share information with Miranda about the lab, it still gets raided. His thoughts during the conversation with Grace play out as if he shared that information after all.
  
• In general, pathing where the player decides against LI can use a bit of a cleanup. My MC just ignored Cindy, but now he's considering he should've 'taken her number'. My reason for ignoring Cindy was to keep her out of danger. What would Jack think of the MC hooking up with someone who works at the police station? Thoughts like the MC's here undermine that narrative.
  
• Ada's introduction to the MC feels messy. He has no reason to trust her, certainly with Ada breaking protocol like that. She does know a lot about him, but she doesn't offer him any proof that she's on his side. Players can decide to be antagonistic toward her and ask "Do you swallow", but this makes the conversation take a weird turn, with the MC suddenly being past the sale with no real motivation for it. The least she could've done was show her badge.
  
• Likewise, in this conversation, the MC hints at being attracted to Miranda, which made no sense with the choices I made.
  
• The animation of MC kissing Zoe in chapter 4 needs a bit of work. He's just rubbing his face against hers.
  
• Chapter 6: If the MC is with Zoe but not with Grace, Zoe still acts jealous, with the MC only saying "it's just work". While this is dubious enough to work, I think if the MC was serious about being with Zoe, he'd do more to re-assure her. Even more so if he isn't on Grace's route.
  
• "I really feel like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ someone, let's call Amelia"... Earlier, with Zoe, the MC showed he realized how important intimacy is to her. She pretty much said that she wouldn't spread her legs to just anyone. Her jealousy also suggested she expected monogamy. To then have the MC decide to just ♥♥♥♥ around, without the player's input, doesn't feel good. My MC also refused Amelia the two times before, making this an even further leap. Ideally, this would've been a choice before the MC called her.
  
• During this call with Amelia, she suggests a threesome, after which the player can choose to go or not. This makes me wonder why the choice wasn't offered before calling. When refusing, he says he was just calling to see how she was doing. Weird.
  
• Zoe giving it up to the MC on a playthrough where he was distant to her from the start, but saved her from Chad feels wrong. Like before, Chloe says it's important to her, and the MC just tells her what she wants to hear. This doesn't make the MC likeable. In hindsight, it looks as if her remark is just there for players who're into cheating and heartbreaking... But, it has zero consequences. Players can end up with another LI despite sleeping with Zoe with no impact.
  
• There's little to no payoff to Miranda's small breakdown at the beginning of the story.