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In Persona 5 you have completely unique dungeons, each with its own theme, enemies and music, various set pieces and puzzles. And at the end of each dungeon you fight a shadow (monster) version of one of the story characters.
Persona 3 on the other hand is much more simplistic. There's only 1 dungeon in the game, and it's just randomized hallways, around 250 floors total. And the chapter bosses are just generic monsters without any story connection (the concept of people having shadows didn't exist yet). The game is much more similar to old dungeon crawlers in this regard.
Apart from this, Persona 5 just has much more content in general. More social links, more stuff to do outside of dungeons, such as various mini-games (darts, baseball, fishing etc), bigger city districts to explore etc.
The story is completely subjective, although it's worth noting that 3's is much more sparse, you can go months in-game without much happening. Themes wise, Persona 3 is darker, although not by a huge amount.
And then there's Persona 4. The current best version (Golden) has literal PS2 graphics, and the dungeon quality is somewhere between 3 and 5 (randomized hallways but with a unique theme in each chapter + shadow version of a story character as the boss). I might be biased as it was my first Persona game, but I believe that the social links are the best written in the series (3's are often too short and repetitive, while 5's are just "go to Mementos to fix the problem this person is having"). There's a decent amount of side content too, including scooter rides and fishing. Also, themes wise it's the odd one out, as it's the most upbeat and optimistic Persona game, despite being a murder mystery. If you're depressed and want to be cheered up, you can't go wrong with Persona 4.
Overall, I'd probably recommend 5 first if you want to be impressed, or 3 first if you want to start with a simpler game that still looks modern. 4 is probably getting remade next, so save it for later.
Persona 3 may be the darkest one due to the themes of Death, despair, sacrifice and finding hope when all hope has left you.
The phrase that sums it up perfectly is "Memento Mori", and it carries that phrase with it from start to finish.
Persona 4 is about pursing the truth and facing it, no matter how ugly it is, even the ugly truths you hide away from yourself as well as others, the better to grow as a responsible person.
Persona 5 is about-as memetic as it sounds- society, rebellion, control, freedom, individuality and change.
I prefer dark, bleak stories. To much comedy in these type of games is a huge turn off for me.
There's just something about 4 that just hit differently than 5 couldn't and 3 does somewhat, but I think you hit the nail in the coffin with it being the social links/relationship building especially between you and the party.
persona 4: mystery ( scooby doo theme )
persona 5 royal: justice and rebellion
Play a better written, less expensive JRPG
I say that as someone who's favourite Persona game is 4. Shin Megami Tensei might be up your alley. 3DS versions are the easiest to get into. Try SMT4, maybe? You can emulate 3DS on any modern PC with ease.
I can not do split screen. Nocturne sounds good tho?
Nocturne's that good stuff.
Play the original though.
I sucked it up and got a 3ds and SMT4. Then got the emulator and iso. Best SMT game IMO. I haven't made it far into the game; stuck on the minatoar boss. But the story so far is def right up my alley. Game looks amazing with the resolution turned all the way up and anime 4k filter.
- Are you okay with "rushing" or "need to track time whenever you do something" If no, Persona 5 is not for you.
Persona 5 despite it has far more content and complexity compared to Persona 3, but there are more strict rules related to series of events that you need to aware of, such as
Event A, You have to defeat the boss by 15/05 -> Fail ? Game over