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I'm not sure there are many suggestions you haven't tried yet, but you could check the GOG forum topics Divine Divinity running very slow and clunky[www.gog.com] and Game is Running Very Slow[www.gog.com].
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=dpGvBZD0q4A
:)
Raze - That GoG forum post is a treasure trove of stuff, thanks for the link! Even with the game running imperfectly, it's still playable on Windows 8, just not ideal.
For your earlier edit: I don't mind friend requests... but I also don't really use any of the social functions of Steam, so I just ignore them (manually; it seems kind of rude to specifically go into the friend thing and click 'ignore'). I looked earlier for a way to send a private message to someone to politely decline, but as far as I can tell you'd have accept a friend request to tell someone that you don't want to accept their friend request.