[Official] Submit Jokes For Loading Screens thread

[party time]

With this thread, I would like to involve everyone in creating some jokes for loading screens. We have this idea that the loading screens can be a way to expand our character mythology.

You may have noticed the loading screens sometimes having useless advice of sorts.

Unic has a thing for horses, so he keeps on sharing fun facts about them.

SpeedRunners apparently likes speed. No drug references there at all.

Hothead doesn't like the taste of mud, etc.

We do have actual game advice in the screens, but seeing that for the millionth time is not as entertaining. We need the character name, and the text. For example:

Unic: Did you know horses sleep 4 hours a day? Amazing!

Cosmonaut: Zapivay vodku pivom

Hothead: HORSE TASTE GOOD

SpeedRunner: Need for speed, and running!

[iNerV]

Cosmonaut: Poehali!!

[Zork Nemesis]

SpeedRunner: Every day I'm Speed-Running.
SpeedRunner: Speed running faster than you can say "sonic!"
Cosmonaut: Хорошо! (Excellent!)

Do we have an established personality for Moonraker yet?

[WolfStar76]

Cosmo: Klatuu Verada Nectos.

[Zork Nemesis]

SpeedRunner: Wanna see me run to that building and back? Wanna see me do it again?
Cosmonaut: No, I don't do that squat dance, so stop asking!

HotHead and Unic are pretty tough to come up with quotes for.

[Kyborek]

Unic: Join the pink side!
Unic: My favorite animal is nyan horse

[Casper van Est]

Alright, I've put some of these in. See if you can spot them in the next update ;)

[Kyborek]

Unic: I like to play pink pong

[CheeseyHR]

Hothead: Do you like fire? Me Also!

Unic: Oops, I forgot my horn...

Speed runner: Run,Run, RUN, RUUUUUUUUN!!!

[Jimozzo]

Unic: What is the best friend of a unicorn? a corn dog!!!
Unic: What wears a unicorn when is at work? a uniform!!!

Moonraker:Why does the Moon orbit the Earth? To get to the other side

[Qapa McFly]

Unic: Horses are nice but none of them is faster than ME!
SpeedRunner: Run fast or run home!
Unic: And they still think im Arcade Hecarim.

[Casper van Est]

Run fast or run home is a good one!

[WipZedKay]

Moon Raker: Walking? What is this? The industrial revelotion?

[ReAnyX3]

Moon Raker : didnt your mama ever tell you never to play with fire Hot Head ?

[PTacobellVT]

Cat: ^ↀᴥↀ^
Cat: [ ⇀ ‿ ↼ ]
Cat: (◕ᴥ◕)

[caret]

Skullduggery: Someone dug up the loading screen jokes thread!