Call of Duty: Black Ops II

Call of Duty: Black Ops II

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The story is... not that great?
It immediately retcons Woods' death, which I quite like. Offscreen Woods got taken to two different Vietcong prison camps then escapes and goes back to the CIA, and he and Alex (I can't call him Mason anymore because there's two Masons now) are best friends. Alex gets married and has a kid, David, his wife dies, Woods keeps doing military stuff, Ice Cube (no, the other Ice Cube... you know, BATMAN) shows up and says Woods is in trouble so Alex goes with Hudson to fight Angola Commies with Savimbi [important historical figure of course, not as big as Castro but hey still cool] to earn intel on Woods, and save him. Alex ends up de-eyeing Nicaraguan arms dealer and coke cartel runner Menendez along the way. As revenge against America he starts selling guns and drugs to Soviets in Afghanistan. So the CIA and China go to help the Mujahideen fight the Russians, and who shows up but Kravchenko. I'm sorry but WHAT??? Alright FINE ok I'll take it, whatever, give us that sweet sweet NUMBERS fanservice. He says there are moles in the CIA then Woods kills him then FOR SOME REASON the Mujahideen betray everyone and leave them in the desert, and we get yet more fanservice that Reznov maybe lived even though there is literally no way he survived Vorkuta but whatever IT'S FINE because that's where the tie-in to the first game ends and it doesn't outstay its welcome. It's one level. It's okay. Anyway, Menendez.

Some American businessman torches Menendez' stuff for insurance money, and this scars his beloved sister Josefina. Thus begins the roots of his hatred for capitalism. Even though he was already a Soviet ally anyway but hey we need FAMILY as a motivator for our villain to match the motivator for our protagonist. Then the CIA kills his dad for selling drugs. Thus begins his hatred for America. Even though he was already a Soviet ally anyway but hey we need NATIONALISM as a motivator for our villain to match the motivator for our protagonist. Then the CIA works with Noriega [another important historical figure but like dude come on nobody knew who he was before the game came out, HE WAS LITERALLY ALIVE WHEN THIS GAME CAME OUT AND I DOUBT THAT THE DEVS EVEN KNEW THAT] to capture him, but Noriega the filthy double-crossing traitor he is and was legally indicted for like 37 times for doing IRL, joins up with Menendez for I guess money? Whatever. Woods PTSDs out and accidentally kills Josefina which begins the roots of his hatred for Woods. Alright we get it Menendez was sad once and that makes him a compelling bad guy, right??? Whatever. So the CIA try to soil Noriega's reputation (by making him out to be a perv? lmao okay that's actually hilarious) except UH OH it was all an elaborate ruse concocted by Menendez and Noriega and a blackmailed Hudson (???) in order to... trick Woods into assassinating Alex thinking it was Menendez. And bringing baby Mason to Panama right before the war in order to take out Menendez' revenge for Alex on Alex's son after Alex is dead. Oh yeah Alex dies here. And Hudson too. Wow I can't believe we'll never see these characters again- oh look, Cold War. Ultimately meaningless because who cares about the plot anymore, just look at BlOps3's campaign having zilch to do with this, and BlOps4's campaign literally nonexistent. The plan is dumb and makes no sense and is overly complicated and super dramatic for spectacle's sake. I felt more emotion when Price gave his 1911 back to a dead Soap, and I like Alex way more than Soap. It's even dumber when you try to shoot Noriega but the game says no, then you try to shoot the guys holding Mason but the game says no, then you try to do nothing but the game just sits back with its arms crossed and its heels dug in. At least there's an actual choice when you decide if Kaidan or Ashley has to die. Whatever. And that's only the flashback levels.

in the future Menendez has a YouTube cult of 2 billion people, and they hate China for some reason, and they decimate China's economy leaving the government so weak they can't exercise power over the military run by Tian Zhao who is evil now for some reason. David is a navy seal now by the way, and in spec ops with Merle from the walking dead. They try to get Menendez because somehow the CIA has been after him for over 30 years now and he's evaded them this whole time and become a mix between every single Bond villain and Lex Luthor. He might as well be a mix of Jason Voorhees and SAURON by now with how stupidly overpowered he is. Don't believe me? He literally invented a new element that is better than silicon and now the whole world is competing for this element that is... look, if I had a week I couldn't tell you all the reason why that's impossible. That's just now how atoms work. BUT WHATEVER, UNOBTAINIUM, IF JAMES CAMERON CAN DO IT WHY CAN'T TREYARCH? Eventually they do get Menendez but uh oh he wanted them to do that because he's in cahoots with one of the special forces because OF COURSE HE IS. This is after a Kaidan/Ashley moment that's ultimately pointless because like. You either get more Michael Rooker voice lines, or you get the good ending. Wow such consequence very choice. Ugh. That's the fakest ♥♥♥♥ ever. Actually, no that's not. I'll get there in a sec. There's a lady who is just a plot device that you can either a) save and have a chance at the good ending or b) NOT save and doom yourself to a bad ending. WOW SUCH CHOICE VERY CONSEQUENCE. Whether you save Chloe from Defalco or rescue her afterwards, both Farid and DeFalco die, unless Harper is alive in which case Chloe dies either way, so the choice is literally meaningless. Wow. "There's 256 possibilities!" No, there's 9 binary choices and half of them don't matter. My favorite is the one where you, as Menendez, decide whether to murder Candyman or not. If you do, America is fubbernucked, and if you don't, everything is fine. Because ultimately it doesn't matter and he's relying on his YouTube cult to viva la revolucion the world. Which canonically they do. Which is dumb.

Menendez is presented as the coolest bad guy ever but he just comes off as a fanfiction baddie. He's literally just a Mary Sue version of Saddler from Resident Evil 4, but I think the game would be IMPROVED if he turns into a stupid tentacle spider eye monster.

Also you can make it so Alex didn't die after all but he ends up being Endgame Captain America'd so what's even the point?

And then Avenged Sevenfold put on a concert. This is the only part of the story I like and that's because I actually like Avenged Sevenfold.

So, in short... I think the story is pretty dumb. I mean it's passable as a vehicle to get from one level to another. Except, wait, the levels are mostly bad too. Oh. Oh no. This is a catastrophic failure both as a single player FPS campaign and as a story-driven RPG. Well Menendez, I suffered with you. I suffered by playing this story twice and inevitably a third time just for achievements and then to uninstall forever. Which is a real shame because I have wanted to play this game for TEN YEARS, and only finally got a chance to. This has been such a disappointment compared to all of the hype. And it's the beginning of the end, the first step on the slide down into unplayability for the franchise as a whole. The Modern Warfare trilogy and Black Ops 1 are immortal [except for Hudson's levels which are all explicitly terrible] but this is... mediocre at best. Well, at least the multiplayer maps are the best in the series and zombies is always a fun time. It's just a meh campaign.
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Nightmre -_- Jul 10, 2024 @ 4:47pm 
I can see what you mean but the game is still fun as hell to play. The missions are top tier.
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