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It's Vista.
It's Vista.
It's Vista, seriously.
Install Windows 7 on her computer. Using Vista is asking for problems. I was never able to get Vista to do ICS with Windows 7 despite it being theoretically supported, for example. There was never a reason, it just didn't work until I installed 7 on the second computer.
It is most likely down to the fact that you are running on 2 separate operating systems. There is nothing wrong with the games LAN.
This thread confirms it's not necessarily the OS - it's something else - probably which adapter the game is grabbing. The game is now patching so I may never know but once its up I will try again with all adapters disabled except the ones connected to the router.
http://forums.runicgames.com/viewtopic.php?f=54&t=40863
maybe you have a port blocked.