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Generally you should always consider breakpoints. Keep then neutral where possible and push to 14+ otherwise. Wasting whiskey when everything already neutral but can't be progressed into 14+ is kinda pointless. Just keep it for another inn.
I read the wiki about this, if you're in the "neutral" zone you have a 5% chance of developing either a positive or negative relationship. Once you're friendly it's 33% positive relationship with 0% negative.
But what really bothers me is how the game removes my agency and forces me to take negative skills, and doesn't allow me to change them. In a game that is focused on decisions and consequences, this mechanic is strangely out of place.
NOTE: just double-checked, it was a hate triangle, 3 characters each 12+, so I ended up with 3 characters with 2 penalty skills apiece that locked those skills in place. So on 3/4 of my team I could only choose 3 skills instead of 5.
I have found that negative relationships are not that bad. First off, the skills that are locked tend to be ones that you use (this is according to what the devs have said), but for sake of arguing let's just pretend you unluckily get 2 skills locked on your bar you don't want to use. There is enough slack so pick 3 skills you do want to use and you make do. The vast majority of fights if not all of them don't require you to have more than 3 useful skills. There is slack.
Take this from someone who's beaten Act 5 with the infernal flame while not using any stress healing characters. My relationships weren't good and I melted down a lot but I still made it. The game really is about making the best of a bad situation, it's not about "giving you agency" or respecting your boundaries.
You adapt to it, not the other way around.
There is enough slack in the game to make up for concerns like yours.
Simplest way to deal with it? Just look at the Relationships page of your characters and mouseover the values, they will tell you exactly what your chances of getting a positive and negative Relationship is.
Priority is to decrease odds of negative Relationships.
Long story short, it is simply too much for a single mechanic imo. Would be negative enough if the game only picked from the skills selected for that char.
I'm not saying the current system should be changed, I think it's fine. But the fact remains that bad relationships are often so freakishly crippling that, most of the time, you're going to need to prioritize the preventing of bad relationships above nearly everything else.
The skill lock itself might not be the worst part and could be played around. The problem is the negative effect it has on the relationship partner every time it is used. If it's a flat +1 stress and happens to land on a really inconvenient ability (Playing a melee PD and it landing on the melee attack, for example. Or on Lepers chop. etc.) then that is a massive blow to your action economy going forward.
It is also extra harsh on the player in that the negative relationships will actively aim for abilities you are using frequently, to enforce their negative aspect. But positive relationships will choose whatever, so they frequently land on stuff you don't plan on using. The fact thtat there is a tiny chance to roll a negative on neutral also means it will frequently pop as a result of complete RNG, and not any bad decision making on the players part.
Red Hooks love a "throw dice at the wall" approach over actual balancing, hence the game being full of 50/50 and 25/75 rolls for things. But the relationships are particularly aggravating because they can be majorly invasive, and similarly to some of the really bad quirks, encourage just giving up and rerolling versus actually trying to make it work.
The quirks/items that give like -5% or +10% etc positive/negative relationship chance, I thought were just for the 20-point scale being affected lol.
I agree. At least if it's positive, you aren't forced to equip the skill.
If it helps, the stuff that gives bonus percentages to relationships is a lot more menaingful than it might appear. I've had a much easier time avoiding the negative relationship stupidity after taking the wolfpup and avoiding any and all quirks that raise the chance for negatives. It tips the scale ever so slightly in your favour, and on longer runs, that usually adds up enough that a bit of whisky and such will handle the rest. As others have said, the golden number is 14, since that eliminates the chance for "lul envious" to happen.