Transcript of "Buddy"

[Excart314]

I didn't think this really counted as a guide so I put this here. This was so stupid, I just spent like over an hour listening to this.

If you make it to the third show (Ren's route) [\spoiler] in the memelord route, and don't survive, [\spoiler] then this will play. It's really funny, so I suggest you listen to it. I did my best; I'm sure it's not 100% accurate since it's really distorted and glitched, so feel free to comment any errors to fix.

The whole thing is a spoiler, I guess.

Read the in-game page for content warnings for specific trigger warnings, and please stay safe.

Aw, man! Come on, man! I ca- don’t need this! Aughgh! Dude, this sucks! What are ya doin’ ta me? This is weird. Auggh! I'm like, on 50 pills, I’m drunk, I don’t know what’s up, I don’t know how I got here. And now this dude’s like, the- the ♥♥♥♥♥♥’ bedazzler was not enough, no! Now we’re at it with the nailgun? Are you kidding me? Dude! Like, I’m not a house, I’m not a piece of wood. You don’t do this to, to me. Nor my arm, my leg; none of it. Look. “Eyes are the window to the soul”, I get it. But, y’know, windows aside, that does not make me a house. So, I’m not feeling these nails, man. I’m really n- I’m not into this. I gotta say. You know. Not a fan. Not my favourite. Not even top ten. Really. [\spoiler]

Do we haveta be doin’ this? Like, this is such a waste of like, your time, my time, and my time has been, like, forgiving in these shows for all like, the cuts and the burns, and all that. Oh, whatchu doin’ now?! Oh, c-come on! Haven’t we done enough? Isn’t this enough? Like, what else is there to take off? What have we not done to me at this point? We’ve done it all. I’ve been there. Is the torch necessary? Like, do you have to be so extra with it? Like, we- *sigh* The heat gun, or the bedazzler or whatever that was, was hot. But, I mean, you know, the whole torch now? Like, I don’t even know what to say to that. How did I even get here? What, like, wrong turn did I take on the internet that led me into this situation? What website, so I can never go there again. What forum? [\spoiler]

Listen: we have been over the name thing. I don't know it. So I don't know how to implore you to cut it out. I know it’s not “Fox”, and I know I’ve been sittin’ here. At the screen. I know your name. But I have not been given that information. In the context of this little fable. So I don’t know it. It’s not “Fox”. I know it’s half what you are (I still don’t get that) but, y’know, that’s tha- live your truth. I dig it. But, I don’t know what to- look. Ralph? Jeff? Tony? I don’t know. Tony, listen to me. Tony, it doesn’t have to be like this; we coulda hung out, had a drink, played some cards, watched a movie, had a NICE time. Gottena’ know you a little. Gottena’ know me. What do you know about me here? Well, you’re not gonna have a fair two-way kind of communication heart to heart to each other. Who we are, we know each other in this very limited context, of, you, like, firing nails into my body. And nut in my eye, I guess. Oh, sorry, that’s a veer on the adult realm, my bad. I mean, the whole thing’s adult. I mean, you had to know it was coming. This is one of those video games, that, y’know, you’d think of it it was probably going down… so, like, don’t worry about that. SPOILERS! [\spoiler]

But, like, my point is, Tony, can I call you Tony? My point- there’s other that we could, y’know. Get to know one another. Person ta person. Or- person ta… “fox person”? …Not so sure about that. Not holding you for it! Not up to speed. On that situation. But I DON’T judge. W-well, I do judge… “Is he gon-like- gonna take of bite of me?” I don’t appreciate that. You know, that- do we ha- come on. Is it, like, you couldn’t afford it? Gotten like a, like a, like a granola bar or something? I only got so much meat. And, you know, this whole, “take a bite” thing, it’s gonna work for like, five bites max. I don’t got a lot to spare and I kinda need it. You’re not thinkin’ long term, buddy.
I’m like, SO mad about all this. You couldn’t even keep your hat on for this? Like, is that just your work uniform? We coulda talked hats. We coulda talked fashion. I love that outfit. It looks great. WE COULDA GOTTEN ALONG, TONY. And you had to go, and ♥♥♥♥ all this up. ♥♥♥♥ up- ♥♥♥♥ my eye up. That sucks. My face, wipe off the ♥♥♥♥. What did you even put in my back? What wa- what did you, like, carve, back there? Can you even draw or does it look like ♥♥♥♥? I’m pissed, dude. Y’know, this isn’t the WORST thing that’s ever happened to me, in like, you know, once you’ve lived life. But, this is up there. I’m not pleased. I’m not. *sigh* I gotta say. Honest to god. Not lovin’ it. Not thrilled. [\spoiler]

How could you make me take a bite of myself? You didn’t even ask if I was hungry. You didn’t even take me out for a ♥♥♥♥♥♥’ meal. Is that how cheap of a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ date you are, my dude? ♥♥♥♥! “I don’t wanna pick him up no burger on the way home. He’s got food in the house!” It’s me! That’s not ♥♥♥♥♥♥’ food! What are ya talkin’ about? Tony! Gimme a ♥♥♥♥♥♥’ break, kid. ♥♥♥♥! What am- what am I even ON? How many pills do you got in me? I don’t even know WHEN I am, dude. Aughgh! I’m just so, like, I’m SOO mad with you right now. And after this, after I sobered up, maybe ya gimme a glass of water. I’m gonna tell you exactly how I feel about THIS! This is no- we are gonna have to sit down and have a conversation, dude. Not cool. [\spoiler]

Thanks for wasting your time reading this, lol.

[slowpokedragon]

BLESS YOU FOR TRANSCRIBING THIS IM LOSING MY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ MIND LAUGHING AS I READ ALONG WHILE IT PLAYS IN THE BG