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in short, tell your xb friend to start a game of ground war/invasion. he will get a prompt to turn on crossplay and press yes, then he should be able to join you
Unless the games been updated in the last few days that wont work. There's no in game option to enable or disable crossplay on xbox. Its a global account setting that they have to change in their xbox privacy settings that disables/enables crossplay for everything.
You can't turn off crossplay on pc. Are you confusing things with MW1? Because it was an option in MW1. Only playstation has an actual toggle option in MW2 atm.
https://www.windowscentral.com/how-disable-or-enable-cross-play-xbox-one-series-x-series-s
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2893276506
I get pc only lobbies all the time. I also get lobbies where the entire other side is only playstation users or only xbox users and I've had lobbies where I'm the only pc player in there. The matchmaking is weird and doesn't really mix and match consoles all that often.
The only version of MW2 that has a toggle to turn off crossplay is on the playstation. You cannot turn it off on PC. The option doesn't exist and on xbox the only way to turn off crossplay is to do it from the account privacy settings in the console itself.
And as I said earlier, that literally wont do anything on the xbox. He has to enable crossplay in the privacy settings on his console.