Woke Stranding

[Sam Arboria]

Death Stranding is the most pretentious, ham-fisted, virtue-signaling mess I’ve ever seen in gaming. Every inch of it drips with modern political nonsense. It’s like Kojima looked at the state of the world and thought, You know what gamers want? A game that lectures them about unity and cooperation while shoving feminist icons, climate change hysteria, and anti-capitalist drivel down their throats.

Let’s start with the protagonist, Sam Porter Bridges. A rugged, lone-wolf delivery man who is forced to care about people. Disgusting. The whole game is about rebuilding America, but not the cool, patriotic way. No, it’s about some utopian nonsense where we all have to rely on each other, where the “strong independent man” realizes he can’t do everything alone. Weak. Unbelievable.

Then there’s Fragile, a FEMALE character who dares to be competent and complex without being a damsel in distress? Yikes. And don’t even get me started on Heartman, the nerdy scientist obsessed with life after death—classic leftist academia, always questioning traditions and seeking “truth.” Then there’s Mama, a woman with emotional depth, a tragic backstory, and personal agency? Woke garbage. I don’t play games to experience nuanced characters, Kojima. I play them to feel powerful.

And the BB? A literal baby as a central mechanic? A symbol of hope and connection? I can already hear the social justice warriors screaming, “See? Even the most hardened man must learn to care!” Yeah, okay, whatever.

And let’s not ignore the most insidious part: how the game forces you to work together. Oh, you thought you could just play solo? Nope. The game rewards you for using other players’ structures, for supporting each other in an online community. Ugh. If I wanted to experience forced collectivism, I’d move to a socialist utopia, thank you very much.

And the rain ages you? Wow. Subtle metaphor for climate change, Kojima. Really breaking new ground there.

The worst part? The game actually had the audacity to make me feel something. To make me care about my deliveries, about the people relying on me, about the world I was building. It made me realize connection isn’t weakness. That trust isn’t some woke agenda, it’s human. That maybe, just maybe, I got baited into ranting about “wokeness” when all along, Kojima just wanted to tell a story about people needing each other. And if you cared to read this far then you also know the entire point of this post is to have a laugh and see who replies. Keep on keeping on!

[deltahazer]

A very dangerous game to play in a text format, my friend.... I could well imagine delivering this in a face-to-face setting though, it'd probably get some good reactions ;)

Hope you don't get drowned in "tl:dWr" flamers.... (the "W" being for "wanna")

[Violet❤]

Keep on keeping on

[The Sentinel]

[Barmy Deer 𝝙]

Keep on keeping on

[Scullbergo]

Look at you all triggered.

[zorocancor]

ain't reading allat

[Barmy Deer 𝝙]

Originally posted by zorocancor:

ain't reading allat

I recommend you to.

[riotatari]

Wall of text hits YOU for 1,000 damage !

[Vizemo]

If this isn't sarcasm, I feel bad lmao

[Barmy Deer 𝝙]

Originally posted by riotatari:

Wall of text hits YOU for 1,000 damage !

"Fatigue level has increased. Maximum stamina has temporarily decreased."

[deltahazer]

Originally posted by Barmy Deer 𝝙:

Originally posted by riotatari:

Wall of text hits YOU for 1,000 damage !

"Fatigue level has increased. Maximum stamina has temporarily decreased."

:dsbridges::dslike:

"Keep on keepin' on"

You were affected by deltahazer's sign
Fatigue level and stamina restored

[waltham845]

What?

[Athlumney]

I think you tipped your hand a bit much in the second paragraph and gave the game away. First paragraph was almost perfect but you couldn't quite hit the right tone those Gamers™️ do.

Originally posted by waltham845:

What?

It's a parody of the typical GAMER™️ rant against Woke/DEI/SJW/buzzword.

[NotReallyMyName]

This game is about knocking out humans for further, and unsuccesful, rehabilitation and killing subhumans that don't even dare to show their ugly dead mugs to still living people, by using blood of the only virgin of the wastes, aka the player, which happened due to amazon being cancelled so much it started an extinction event. Speculations about the subhumans connected by umbilical cords to heaven actually being unionized amazon workers is nothing more than a vile propaganda by the leftists since everyone knows unions never existed and were a socialistic lie.

So no, this game isn't woke, it is a Japanese Batman knockoff that wants to dunk on China.

[Xariot]

I'm not 100% positive the OP is satire; I think he might be serious.