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The audiences being targeted are progressive activists, people who think trans is the new punk, and fujoshis (not that there's anything wrong with being a fujoshi). You're totally right - the LGBT content in this isn't actually for most people in the gender/sexuality minority community.
Agreed again. This is because, to be blunt, the devs are people who hold the stereotypical gamer (i.e. nerds) in utter contempt and presume them to be bigoted and/or so 'spergy they can't be polite. Despite nerds being disproportionately LGBT in the first place.
This characterization is spot on.
100%, and exactly the same can be said about the game journalists (using the word journalist for people who write a copy-paste opinion to all the major game review websites sounds insulting to actual journalists to be honest).
Because it's corporate bullsh*t and they don't believe a single word of it, they just want to show how virtuous their parent company that tries to get kids addicted to gambling is.
Who do you think the stereotypical gamer is? Because valve (and video game publishers) spend a lot of money and effort collecting this information.
"Typical/Average" =/= "Stereotypical." That said, it depends on your definition of "gamer" to some degree. If you define "gamer" as "someone who plays any kind of video game on any platform for any period of time for any reason at all" you're going to end up glossing over the difference between market segments.
Long story short.. immersion breaking
I don't disagree, but when people start talking about the 'stereotypical' gamer, its worth remembering that the stereotypical gamer is actually a woman who plays mobile games on her phone.
I think this is part of the problem. I truly believe that actual LGBTQ+ people want to be accepted, not coddled or worshipped. They want to be part of the general community, not be treated like some alien beings, you don't have to be a staunch ally to accept people without prejudice.
This, indeed, is what it comes down to.
BG3 has sexual minority representation out the wazoo. But its integrated into the setting, it is "shown, not told" and there are no long lectures. Only that very small minority of actual bigots complained. And of course there's Cyberpunk 2077, which had a transwoman who was written perfectly acceptably (Claire Russell) and there were no complaints about her.
DAV is a case of what happened in Mass Effect Andromeda with Hainly (the transwoman character who, without a patch, deadnamed herself within the first conversation you had with her). Except this time its intentional, and the dialogue tone is totally YA-novel-esque.
That's the typical gamer (with "gamer" being loosely defined), not the stereotypical gamer.