Story Commentary for Veilguard

[Mysti_Fogg]

I won't buy this game, but I do have one thing I want closure on: The lore.

So I'm watching a playthrough and doing commentary to amuse myself. Here's about the first 2 hours of it if you care. If you don't, that's fine.

There will presumably be some level of spoilers, though I think most of this stuff has been released in previews.

And yes. The dialogue is awful.

Story Commentary 1

1) So the boss walks off, and everything is peaceful, but her goons square up against you despite that and want to fight ... just because.

2) And then all the kerfuffle outside is because of the bar ... where nothing happened? It's like the writers wrote a bar fight but didn't write out the option where you chose not to fight.

3) Talk about Solas doing this to bring back the ancient world despite the fact the intro seemed to indicate a different motive. I'm not going to buy into any motive until we at least hear from him himself.

4) Why are the companions almost never on screen with you? It's weird, like you're adventuring alone.

5) Yikes. Where was Neve's voice actress when she recorded? The lines sound weird. And I should stop commenting on the gamplay and focus on story. That's what I promised myself I would do.

6) Catch him while he's doing his ritual so he can't fight you? I mean, yeah, he probably can't fight you at that point. But in NO fantasy setting I have ever experienced has it been a "good idea" to mess up someone's ritual. Do you have any idea what the fallout of doing the ritual wrong will be? Something coming to eat Solus's soul? Something bigger and meaner than he is to fight, and you don't think you can fight him? It's like D&D 101 to not mess with someone's rituals unless you know what the outcome will be or you're desperate. And your first plan shouldn't be desperation.

7) Dear God, could the info dump stop?

8) At least everything is pretty. The worst part of Origins was that everything was brown.

9) Dude is literally about to destroy the world and you think NOW is the time to talk. What about before? He didn't listen to you before. There's nothing new to make him listen to you NOW. This is an awful plan.

10) Verric, why were you so stupid?

11) What Rook has done? Rook didn't do anything but follow Varric.

12) It's Rook's responsibility now? The guy who sells his services for money? This is a dumb idea.

13) Also, WTF WAS your plan Solus?

14) Oh, good. Varric's alive. It can be all his problem since this was all his idea.

15) Varric, you barely know who Rook is. Why are you beefing him up. You should be in charge. This is YOUR mess.

16) We're in the Fade? Oh, good. Varric can go looking for Hawke as a side Quest at some point.
This, at least, makes it easy.

Story Commentary Part 2

1) Okay, the hair physics while I watch Rook jog around are spectacular. I want to pet him. Pull out a Barbie brush and run it through his hair.

2) Um... why is Harding hurt? Healing potions are a thing. And from what I'd heard about the characters, both Harding and Neve have healing magic. Why didn't they heal themselves? It's the perfect time. They can rest and recover mana since they're in the middle of nowhere anyway. Why would you sit around with a bruised face if you could heal it?

3) Don't worry about me and go to the ritual site? Harding, you're hurt with wounds that apparently don't heal using standard means in the DA world. Of course he should be worried about you. Something is seriously wrong. Is it catching?

4) Figure out what we're chasing? We're chasing something? Shouldn't we be figuring out how to leave the Fade? Being in your actual body in the Fade is Not Good.

5) Also, Neve, we were meeting up at that bar to get your info. Do you actually have some?

6) Also also, where's some healing spells and potions for Varric? It seems like he needs some.

7) Solus called it the lighthouse? Did he? He said that HE had a place called the Lighthouse. I don't recall him telling you how to get there. Why would you think THIS is the lighthouse?

8) Can you dream in the Fade? It seems like you shouldn't. You're already there.

9) Can you guys just walk over to where Solus is in prison in the Fade then? I mean, he's here somewhere. You're here ... somewhere. You need a map.

10) Solus was SCARED of them? Did we have the same conversation with Solus? Solus doesn't do scared.

11) Ug. Look, I'm a straight woman. I can't, however, stop looking at Neve's pectoral muscles. Because she seems to have pecs and no breasts in close ups, and then she has breasts when you pull the camera back, and it's really wrong in a body dysmorphia kind of way. Could she possibly button her shirt like one button so that I stop fixating on the thing that looks wrong to me?

12) So you guys are just going to leave Varric helpless with some kind of incurable disease, alone in the Fade? That sounds like a horrible plan. Why do you think this is a safe place? Why not leave Harding with him since she's able enough to fight so he'll be safe?

Story Commentary 3:

1) So if I were a god, particularly a giant many limbed god, where would I go? There's got to be some kind of obvious trail.

2) Interesting new enemy designs. Were those golems, though? Did they just rip apart someone's soul because they were bad at commanding things?

3) The sky ripped open? Where's the inquisitor? This is her job. Did artifacts not come alive LAST time the sky ripped open? Do these guys just sit around watch artifacts?

4) How did you know Solus was Fen Herel?

5) Why are you upset the gods got out? In the previous games, the dailish liked their gods. They didn't know they should fear them. Shouldn't you be celebrating?

6) No? You think they're evil? Why? If there's a reason, could you please tell me?

7) Dude, does no one have a healing potion? How do you go around jumping through the veil and not have a basic healing potion? Elfroot is everywhere. It's like the most basic thing to craft.

8) Something's wrong with the fog? It looks like normal fog to me. Other than the fact that it just showed up out of nowhere now that the cut scene's done.

9) Footstep sound effects are good. I liked how he sounded when he dropped down. It matched the size and heft of a male tal'vashoth.

10) Oh, people, where'd you come from? we were running right at you.

11) Alright bella. You're just going to trust random people you've never seen before and meet in a forest when weird things are happening and who tell you old gods are loose? At least she's taking a moment, but still.

12) You're stunned the gods are back, but you've got stuff that only gods could do that happened? not very bright, are you? Maybe that's why you're good at making things explode?

13) "I've been trying to get to the center of the bubble" No you haven't. You didn't know the bubble was there until we had a conversation about it 5 seconds ago. That's when you noticed it.

14) "We call that kind the whirlpool. The anomaly I mean" What anomaly? Is something else broken too? Did you mean the water? You didn't have to suddenly call it an anomaly for no reason. I thought you were talking about the water until you called it the anomaly. Then you confused me.

15) Liar, liar, pants on fire. You don't say "No, it couldn't be" and then try to tell me it was some random food depot. You think you know what it is. And I'd really prefer you tell me.

16) I see what people meant when they said it sounded like Mass Effect. The music totally sounds like Mass Effect. I don't like the style they went for here. You don't want your settings to sound the same. But I should be paying attention to the story.

17) Speaking of, there's a "weathered" note from 1,000 years ago sitting out in the wilderness. Yeah. That's totally not going to happen. If you want stuff from 1,000 years ago, you need to put it somewhere without "weathering"


18) "I was right" Yes, Bella. You were. It would have been helpful if you shared with the group, though.

19) DARKSPAWN?! ? That's the redesign? That????? I see why people hate it. WTF were they going for? Maggots? Also, this is a land of elves. I'd expect Shrieks, not ... I'm guessing those were hurlocks. Also where's the Darkspawn hole that they came from?

20)Thought: So we have letters, but where are all the old bones that it seems like SHOULD be here?

21) "my gods are rampaging around and trying to end the world" Who said they were trying to end the world? Did we say that and I forgot? Because i don't know what they're trying to do at the moment. They could be trying to form a punk rock band for all I know. Last I saw, they wandered off to do stuff. Yes. Stuff. I mean, I don't think they're good based on first impressions. But I don't know why they'd end the world.

22) We're running out of veil jumpers? To do what? Because you're implying you needed a certain number of them to accomplish a goal. Also, it's scary? Seriously? Way to undersell your friends being merced and vanishing.

23) We've been gone for an hour and you've already evacuated 3 settlements? You guys work fast.

24) Could someone please heal Harding? Should I go gather some elfroot for potions? It looks like that's the most helpful thing to do here.

Story Commentary 4:

1) Magisters destroyed Arlathan? I guess the people who had Arlathan as the Black City can cross that off their bingo card.

2) Why are you telling us about Arlathan City for a second time Bella? I heard you the first. Slightly rewording it does not change the info.

3) Oww. Those ladders sound painful to slide down. Like they should cut your hands.

4) Rook, why are you asking Harding if she's sure she wants to fight? This is like the 6th time. Either tell her to get her butt back to somewhere safe because she has these weird wounds that won't heal, or shut up about it. It's becoming patronizing.

5) Bella: I've never seen fog this thick in Demeta's crossing.

Have you ever seen fog before, Bella? Because this is the second time you've had issues with it. Is it, like, a thing with you?

6) Neve: Something happened here

Really? Because Bella just said that this place normally has full markets and now it's deserted. So unless you see a clue somewhere, you're not really adding to this conversation.

Oh, now we're going to all chime in with more stereotypical lines of foreboding? Any actual useful suggestions here? No? Just repeating things similar to what you already said but slightly different? Okay.

7) Eww. Town full of blight. Oh, that's bad. We're not Gray Wardens. We can be corrupted by blight. Why are we running around literally stepping in it and dealing with all those tentacles. I mean, this IS why the wold needs Gray Wardens, they're the only people who can be sure of surviving a fight with the blight.

8) Fan out, rook? You mean so that things with tenticles can pick us off from behind one by one? This is a HORRIBLE plan. Varric taught you well, I guess.

9) Bella: The Gods did this?

Who did you THINK did this? Aren't you supposed to be smart? Who else would have the power to do this? Your people were the ones who were telling me how evil your gods were, even though the elves never thought that before. Make up your mind: Did you always believe in your gods, or were they always evil, what were you told to believe.

10) The mayor sacrificed the town AGAIN? We did this back in DA:I. Sigh.

11) The Veil Jumpers were strangers? Didn't you establish this was the town they went to all the time for supplies? That's like saying the farmer who brings stuff to market is a stranger. That's not how that works.

12) The Gods made plans to rebuild their empire. Yes, Varric. That's pretty obvious. Do you have some specifics? How about showing me some cut scenes of what they're doing? Anything? We're just going to time jump and assume Rook's too slow to catch them? Also don't they know where the other Gods are, locked inside the fade where Solas trapped them? This isn't a mystery for them.

13) "Neve can spot any clues."

Neve having failed to spot any clues so far or have any usful information.

Are you sure about that Rook?

14) Morrigan, why do you sound like a DM running a campaign? It's weird.