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There's other content you can do before fighting that guy. His Fire I really hurts and on Nightmare he has 260 HP instead of 200, so he's not easy to bring down, either.
The best way to take him out is to learn Water Skin and cast it before the battle. That brings his damage down to more manageable levels, maybe even to the point you take out his Goblin lackeys before focusing on him.
Other than that, hit his weakness and then go for a high damage crit. His DEF is really low, even on Nightmare, so if you cleared out the Goblins then Rampage I is a great finishing move, just count his HP first to make sure he doesn't survive and counter with an Enhanced Fire I.
Each time you use the Collar, you generate 4 corruption points. You're also limited to using it only once per day, so you can't brute force your way through sections when you'd need it for multiple fights (with exceptions, the most obvious one mattering when you face the bosses during the Festival of Greed).
The actual cost depends on what you do with those corruption points. Alicia can use them in Aura's mental world to influence Aura over time. The effects start out tame, but they start to spiral worse the more you have.
Of course, this matters most during a pure run. On lewd runs you can take advantage of these changes, though it takes some understanding of the system to know which ones should be unlocked first and which ones should wait.
In your case, I'd give you one more piece of advice - there will be a lot of difficult enemies far more deserving of using your Star Knightess than the Goblin Shaman. Are you sure this fight is really the time when you need to Remove Collar? Or you can do it repeatedly, one battle after another, but that's the easiest way to hit Soul Break and end your run prematurely.
I'm trying my darndest not to Remove Collar on Nightmare Mode, and so far I haven't caved in, although I have to pick all my fights carefully. It takes a lot of reseting too, but the F5 key helps a lot.
Have you done Spider Cleanup yet, and saved Edwin the Merchant? That involves a lot of fighting, and on Nightmare Mode they're seriously difficult fights, too. I'd start from those before you even think of confronting the Goblin Shaman, because if the Mature Spiders are too much then you don't stand a chance against him.
My other piece of advice would be to look for ways to increase your ATK stat. Sharpening your Sword, beating the three Duelists and even upgrading with materials like the Pyromantium can help a lot. Also, if you're truly stuck, then instead of Removing Collar I'd buy and read the book "How To Distract With Your Female Charm" from the Bookstore. It's an easy ATK increase and doesn't generate nearly as much corruption as Collar Removal, although it does raise your Lewdness score so I'd think hard whether that's worth it, too - definitely try the easier battles before resorting to this.
But that's okay, let the Shaman live a little longer... when you come back stronger and at a higher level, he won't seem so scary anymore.
And if you ambush Goblin Shaman and use two bombs on him, goblin shaman will die. After that you need to defeat only 3 goblins. It's not easy on Nightmare but easier without shaman. So the choice is yours.
it all depended on a fair few dodges
And, wow. Congrats then, you're unstuck. That's one roadblock out of the way, and hope that the rest of your run on Nightmare proves easier in comparison.
on day 15 now and still feel incredible weak.
But hey, it's Nightmare Mode. I can't complain since I signed up for exactly this kind of challenge, and if nothing else, figuring out what to do on each day is fun.
Now I realize I have no clue why I was even trying to beat him.
This is one of my big complaints so far. Progression doesn't feel rewarding.
I'm playing on Normal, and even after a couple of level ups and upgrades, I still feel incredibly weak. Only the absolute lowest trash mobs feel any easier.
I hope this isn't me splitting hairs, but if you really have no clue, I can answer that question.
Some of the enemies and bosses you face are tied to specific quests you receive. Like the Young Spider Queen in the mines is tied to Spider Infestation, which you have to finish to progress the main plot and open the way to delving deeper into the mines.
For another example tied to the main plot, let's take the Ogre Commander and/or the Bandit Leader. You are hunting them down for Guard Captain Julian, who gave you the quest Forest of Danger, in order to earn his trust and unlock the Refugee Camp to the West of Trademond.
The Goblin Shaman in Central Forest is tied with the quest Lost Engament Ring, which you receive from Albrecht after saving him. You beat the boss, get the ring, bring it back to Albrecht and collect 10 EXP. It's a side-quest for sure, but you do get a reward from him, in that his girlfriend Nadia can teach Aura the spell Tailwind I. Also, Albrecht can help Aura with during the Papertrail quest a little later into the game.
Despite the above, there are also boss enemies that are entirely optional fights, as far as I understand. The Mothercrow in the Northern Forest, the Jellyfish in the Underground Lake, Whitefang in the Southern Forest... or even the Young Spider Queen in the Abandoned Mine - the very same boss you fought during Spider Infestation, only during the rematch Aura must fight her alone. You don't have to fight these bosses, there's no quest and no reward for doing so, aside from the materials they drop on death. But it's still a good idea to hunt them down, once you're strong enough to take them on - because New Game+ bonuses are tied to the number of bosses you kill. At least, that's the one incentive for players outside of challenging themselves or a completionist drive to clear out every area.
Sorry to hear you feel this way. If it helps any, things get easier, but not based on upgrades or Aura leveling up, not really.
What I've found is that I start feeling stronger and being able to beat bosses and minor enemies that caused me trouble before, based on what skills/spells Aura learns and gaining more game knowledge, like learning the layout of each map, the positions and movements of all enemies, their attacks and traits, what their weaknesses are and how to exploit them right. You as the player, have to level up, so that Aura can start beating these enemies.
It's not for everybody, but at least I find it incredibly rewarding, when a boss that's been giving me trouble, reveals a weakness that I then research, train and prepare for, then exploit it during combat and turn a previously unwinnable battle into a decisive victory. That's the best kind of feeling, and it's grounded in the fact I didn't just level up Aura until she could brute-force her way through the bosses standing in her way, I learned new tactics that apply even to future battles, giving me the edge I need to dip my toe into new areas with stronger and tougher enemies, where I repeat this process while expanding the spells and skills at Aura's disposal.
I hope this doesn't ring of 'git gud', but if you're feeling weak on Normal, after several upgrades to Aura's gear, I'm guessing there is some content you missed? Every battle you win gives you some small advantage to make the other battles easier, and doing them in the wrong order can get you completely walled.
One example to this is the quest 'Honing My Skills' that you get in Trademond, it only awards 10 EXP and 300g split up into three smaller rewards, but the real reason to do it is to obtain Dueling Experience for Aura, which gives her +3 ATK and +15 HP after you beat the three Duelists. That's one of the earliest boosts you can get, and it makes such a difference I can't imagine getting through the game without it.
That didn't ring of "get gud" at all, it was genuinely helpful, and I admitted upfront I'm having troubles on normal so I'm fully aware that I'm doing something wrong.
Rather than write a huge post here, I'd just like to point you to a guide for beginners I wrote, it has plenty of useful information and tips for day one in Roya in particular. Even if you don't start a new run, maybe you'll find that information helpful, or see some secret areas or paths you can take.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3424265500
my best advice is to use bombs and flashbombs. and it still takes plenty of reloads you can even bless them if you have extra money.
another hint is to use plenty of stealth, there is almost always a smart way to sneak around and ambush. here using wasd or arrowkeys movement can help for easier ambush.
also the only martial skill that matters early is to get pierce 1, at least on harder difficulties.