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He's not wrong. There are specific criteria that makes a confidant romancable and Lavenza does not meet these criteria.
You can't choose to spend time with her on Christmas or Valentine's day, for example. She doesn't get the prompt to enter a relationship, for another.
She also doesn't get the heart icon in her confidant menu, which indicates that you're in a relationship.
I haven't played 3 all the way through, so I can't comment on Elizabeth, but I don't think Margret meets the criteria either.
She doesn't participate in the Valentine's day event or Christmas (at least I think it was Christmas for P4G, like in 5) either.
Do they have some elements of their relationship that seem similar? Sure. I don't think that makes them relevant to the question as to whether or not they are romanceable.
Well, I have played through Persona 3 FES, and its Velvet Room attendant, Elizabeth, is romancable. She has her own set of dates with the MC, separate from regular social links, during which she slowly falls in love with the player, and at the end of the game asks to be taken to his room and f*ck, which the player can accept or refuse. Then, after the story ends, she makes it her life mission or whatever to save the player from his fate, abandoning her Velvet Room duties.
I also said Margaret from Persona had romance elements. If you do all her quests, she kisses the player at the end of the game.
A character doesn't have to follow the exact same mechanics as other characters, or participate in the exact same type of events to be romancable.
That other dude said that no Velvet Room Attendant was ever romancable in a Persona game, and that's not true.