Why does Siffrin have to hurt so much? (Spoilers)

[Skye Is Tired]

Spoilers obviously but why does he have to feel like me? They have abandonment issues, fear opening up, don't have a home to go back to, have massive gaps in their memories, spend so long and work so hard to make people happy and care and love him then feels like it was something he forced upon them. It's like someone looked through my disorders, my long dormant hyper-fixation of space, a ton of my layers I've built up and just dedicated a game to cutting through them. It was very hard to get through this game. It felt like torture. I was crying near constantly I spiraled with Siffrin as reality fell apart and I started asking myself the same questions, like why I was continuing to help my party even when they were so far beneath me level wise that their skills didn't amount to much in fights. Why did I feel like I couldn't just skip scenes and had to listen to them unless they were genuinely boring or hurtful or felt unimportant? Why did I feel awful when while mashing through dialogue I accidentally picked to zone out for Odile's entire sidequest? Why does this hurt so much? Why am I taking the time every single time I come back to the world to do all of this over and over and walk through the entire castle for the 40th time when I know my objective is on floor 2, ends there, and I'll probably just touch a tear to loop back once I reach it anyways?

I think it's because skipping feels like a trap to me. Accepting that this is a game and the people don't matter or really exist and I'm not hurting them and I should just keep disassociating, felt like being Siffrin. Falling into the traps that he did, that I criticized him for. But by act 5 I was doing it anyways. I was tired and nearing 50 loops and I let myself see them as props, to disassociate and zone out because it felt safer. I've been Siffrin at his worse, hell I am Siffrin most of the time and. I appreciate this game for giving me a mirror and I'm glad I eventually had the strength to stop looking away.

[Lord Eclipse]

I felt similar as well! It just fit so well & I found it at the best moment I could've- I was surprised I hadn't heard of it sooner! I saw it randomly while scrolling the steam store, and thought "ooo star person!" bc I'm from a fandom that has similar celestial looking characters to Loop and boy I was not prepared for just how much I'd love this story!

As someone working on my mental health & healing, I love the focus on that and mentions of change, deep breaths (I took a breathe every time I read it!), and so on. It resonated a lot, and reminded me of how change is important & that even good things aren't forever, and how that's okay. I also love how (big spoiler) Siffrin & Loop are actually the same person; that hit CLOSE since I'm in a system lol

Also, I love stars & spiritual stuff related to stars (and science too of course, space & nature is fascinating); so I loved that theme! And the exploration of the various cultures & beliefs!

[Skye Is Tired]

Originally posted by Lord Eclipse:

I felt similar as well! It just fit so well & I found it at the best moment I could've- I was surprised I hadn't heard of it sooner! I saw it randomly while scrolling the steam store, and thought "ooo star person!" bc I'm from a fandom that has similar celestial looking characters to Loop and boy I was not prepared for just how much I'd love this story!

As someone working on my mental health & healing, I love the focus on that and mentions of change, deep breaths (I took a breathe every time I read it!), and so on. It resonated a lot, and reminded me of how change is important & that even good things aren't forever, and how that's okay. I also love how (big spoiler) Siffrin & Loop are actually the same person; that hit CLOSE since I'm in a system lol

Also, I love stars & spiritual stuff related to stars (and science too of course, space & nature is fascinating); so I loved that theme! And the exploration of the various cultures & beliefs!

RIGHT? Loving space but it being linked inexorably to trauma leaving gaps in my memory, being in a space literally obsessed with change and growth, deep breaths is the first and for a long time only thing I heard could even help. Even the impermanence of happiness and coming to dread it. I fear spending time with people I love so much because I know that if I let myself feel happy it will only remind me of how miserable and alone I feel and Siffrin expressing those same feelings and feeling as if he manipulated his family into caring about him is so raw to some of my darkest days. Stars I'm getting choked up just thinking about it.