[BIG SHOT's Guide to 1000% COMPLETION in DELTARUNE]

[Чомка морячок]

HELLO [Esteemed Customer]!!! Are YOU ready to become a [Real Gamer] with a [Certified] 1000% Completion Rate in DELTARUNE??? Follow this guide and YOU TOO can unlock EVERY SINGLE [Real] Achievement in the game!!! (Which TOTALLY Exist and are NOT a [Marketing Scam]!!!)

ACHIEVEMENT #1 - [DEAL OF A LIFETIME]

HOW TO UNLOCK: Shake hands with a certain [Friendly Salesman] in a back alley. WARNING: Side effects include [Losing Control] of your wallet and/or soul. But hey, that’s the PRICE OF SUCCESS!!!

ACHIEVEMENT #2 - [GAMER INSTINCTS]

HOW TO UNLOCK: Refuse to go [The Right Way] at every possible moment. Take every detour, every wrong turn, and click on every [Totally Useless] object just in case it contains [Free Money]!!!

ACHIEVEMENT #3 - [BIGGER AND BETTER]

HOW TO UNLOCK: Say YES to every offer of an [Exclusive Deal] and ignore all WARNING SIGNS. (IMPORTANT NOTE: If your game crashes, that’s just the system processing your [Massive Gains]!!!)

ACHIEVEMENT #4 - [NUMBER 1 RATED SALESMAN]

HOW TO UNLOCK: Convince EVERY enemy in the game to buy something from you instead of fighting. If they refuse? [MAKE THEM REGRET IT].

ACHIEVEMENT #5 - [REAL GAMER HOURS]

HOW TO UNLOCK: Play for 24 hours straight without blinking. Scientists say this is impossible, but do you know what else was impossible? The [Hottest Singles] in your area finding YOU, and yet!!!

h2] SECRET FINAL ACHIEVEMENT - [THE BIGGEST SHOT] [/h2]HOW TO UNLOCK: Follow this guide until you realize something: NONE of these achievements are real. None of them EVER WERE. And yet... here you are. Reading. Clicking. HOPING. Just like THEY WANTED. But don’t worry!!! There’s still a way to WIN!!!

All you need to do is send your [Credit Card Number] and [Three Funny Digits] to a [Trusted Salesman] in a [Dark Alley] and you too can achieve the ULTIMATE ENDING—

WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!? COME BACK, CUSTOMER!!! THIS IS A [GREAT DEAL]!!!

...

Okay, fine. You win. Go play the game. But remember… you could have been a [BIG SHOT]...

FINAL SCORE: YOU = 0%, ME = [NUMBER 1]

SEE YOU SOON, [VALUED CUSTOMER]!!!