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The internal error might be entirely unrelated to your mods usage. In regards of mods, you can prevent them from auto-updating and use playsets to ensure that they should be no issue.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2980797677
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2978680677
That kinda confirms that mods might not be the issue to begin with.
Whether a mod differs if it is downloaded from Paradox Mods or Steam Workshop can be easily checked by comparing the metadata it comes along with. It has a unique ID, and unless the mod author is messing with you, it makes it easy to identify. Considering that, mods from Paradox Mods are more convenient in the handling due to the fact that you have access to the version history and an alternative download to a version which is decoupled from the auto-updates.
1) Make sure the mods are exactly the same
2) Make sure the mod load order is exactly the same from top to bottom
3) update the game at the same time to ensure you both got the same versions
4) Verify integrity of game files by right clicking game in library properties> local files, this is the one that helped the most to fix the internal error problem
5) make a shortcut desktop icon from the .exe launcher file in the game folder to launch the game without updating and bypassing the automatic steam updating prompt, and you have to make sure to keep launching through this shortcut to play with the mods you have downloaded at that time, once someone updates the game or gets a new mod, then all the players must do all steps 1 through 5 again each time, to make sure everything is the same.
Its a hassle but its still worth doing if you have the time, also try inviting friends through the steam friends list if the join code doesnt work, hope this helps!
Did Steam actually found discrepancies when you did verify the game's files integrity?