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Even though I hate roguelikes and bullethell, this is one of the best games I've ever played, in large part cause the gunplay and "planning/buildup" part is so much fun.
But I did find it frustrating before everything kind of clicked and I engaged the game on its own terms, so to speak.
Maybe it would be easier for you if you look around the forums (or ask here) for helpful tips from people.
The Reconstructor, robot doll and shortcuts to unlocked levels do a lot to alleviate some the annoyance imho.
I'd recommend giving it another shot.
Go play a different game and when you beat it in under 20 hours... maybe you'll come back and find yourself just clicking better.
My guess is you have some bad reflexes you have learned and some tricks you need to learn. Like when at full integrity you gain resin instead of heals, so never go though picking up heals. You wait till you find a healing ITEM and use that, then run back and pick up all the resins.
Or don't open your weapon chests until your proficiency is leveled up a bit. Leave them all closed if your weapon is working.
Also you don't need to always rush in if you are getting hit a lot in combat. Lure enemies back and take them all alone or in twos, until you learn their attack patterns. Once you start getting the attack patterns the game does sort of open up to you.
I totally agree though, I have taken LONG breaks from hard games in the past. Eventually you'll get the itch and come back.
casual players, older people and people with handicaps will never reach the end of the game.
if you look at the global statistics, hardly anyone makes it through the game.
For me I just have to be in some kind of state or what, I was like 90% done on the 3rd Boss on first try, but since then I never even reached it again, I am getting old.
Personally I would recommend the Nexus mods page for Returnal especially since there has been an active modder by the name of Yakuzadeso who has been exploring various tweaks and options for players of various skill levels and needs.
Recently they have released mods such as custom health, starting weapons, enemy health and damage scaling, extra lives, better dash, removal of curses, price ratio for items at the shop, and so forth.
You have a lot of options to better customize the game to what will be the most fun for you so have at it! Cheers!