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Internet connection is not the issue. Please actually read what I say before replying.
My internet connection is VERY fast and the update downloads quickly. It is the 'Patching' stage where it takes up all of the time (after it has downloaded).
Steam is using extremely outdated content delivery system so on bigger games with large packaged files it may take a while even if the update is 10MB as it may then repackage 100GB worth of data.
The game is also chunked incorrectly against Steam's own guidelines which means absolute minimum patching size is increased.
And if your disk is slow in sustained write/copy speed it exacerbates the problem even more.
Which exact disk did you install the game on ?
How much free space do you have on it before you attempt to download game update ?
Do you have multiple active Steam Libraries (on multiple disks) ?
Keep in mind that more than half of your post is general blabbering, it's not a good idea to ask a question and derail your own topic like that.
For imstance EA installs games/apps even faster than Windows 200Mb "native" updates.
5GB on EA app goes 5min, 200mb WU 5min. Steam updates takes forever. Doesnt matter which game.
My impression is that 95% of programs use Win XP era update packages which are super slow.
Also pay attention to CPU usage.
Somehow "they" think that we wqnt to update everything on background.
So lot of programs prioriyize system "stability" and not speed of the update.
Use 100% of CPU/SSD and finish it in 2min? Nope cant do that.
TDLR its a much wider problem with program updates.
But u can turn steam updates on manual I think...