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If you play on your own private server. time won't pass for your castle heart while you're offline, so you'll be safe to leave and return as you desire.
If you are not confident in your ability to regularly return to fill your castle heart, I highly recommend you do not play on a dedicated server.
If you're only able to play on weekends, you can still play on dedicated servers, just keep in mind that you need to keep your heart filled with essence to maintain it. You also need to be wary of servers with castle raiding times, because during such times, if someone desires it and has the appropriate "tools", they are able to break in and destroy your castle if they so desire, and you may not be necessarily around to defend it.
That being said, there's a lot of different servers hosted out there, some of which may have disabled castle raiding entirely, or only enable it on the weekends when some people are actually able to freely be on to contest it, like yourself.
This game has a lot of customization for settings, you just need to find a server that suits your needs.
Does the castle raiding occur in PvE servers as well?
If your interested in playing on a relaxed private server mine is called United Vampire BloodLines.