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A Bizarre Bargain Bin Battle That Mostly Delivers

There’s something both absurd and brilliant about turning a defunct IKEA-style store into a chaotic battle arena, and Retail Royale leans hard into that premise. Set in the fictional “IKIA” warehouse, this battle royale throws out traditional weaponry in favor of mops, plungers, and whatever else you'd find while wandering an overstocked storage room. It’s a ridiculous concept—but one that manages to be far more engaging than it has any right to be.

What Works:

First off, Retail Royale nails its tone. It knows it’s ridiculous and doesn’t pretend otherwise. The humor is baked into the setting, from signs pointing you to the meatball cafeteria (sadly inaccessible) to the awkward weapon choices that make each fight feel like slapstick theater. The melee combat is surprisingly satisfying—swinging a broomstick or launching a microwave at an opponent has a tactile crunch that hits the right balance between silly and satisfying.

What really shines, though, is the creativity and tension. Matches are short, frantic, and full of unexpected moments—like hiding behind a stack of folding chairs while another player tries to ambush you with a mannequin arm. There's a genuine strategy in scavenging for gear while avoiding detection, especially with the ever-shrinking play area forcing close-quarters chaos.

Customization also adds a nice touch. You can outfit your character with increasingly ridiculous cosmetics, and while there’s no shortage of bizarre looks, it never feels pay-to-win. The progression is mostly cosmetic, and the monetization, for now, feels fairly hands-off.

Where It Trips Up:

That said, Retail Royale stumbles in a few places that are hard to ignore. The biggest issue is its technical polish—or lack thereof. Animations can feel stiff, movement occasionally janky, and weapon hit detection sometimes unreliable. While it adds to the chaos in a way, it also makes close fights feel inconsistent. Aiming thrown objects feels more like a gamble than a skill.

The player base fluctuates heavily, which can lead to long matchmaking times or lobbies with too few players. Bots try to fill the gap, but they’re laughably easy to spot and don’t provide much challenge. Also, once the initial novelty wears off, the content feels a bit shallow. There's only one map, and while it's creatively laid out, repeated runs through the same corridors can get stale over time.

Performance can also be spotty. Frame rate dips, occasional crashes, and awkward bugs pop up enough to be noticeable, especially during intense fights. It doesn’t ruin the experience entirely, but it can kill momentum.

Final Thoughts:

Retail Royale is like digging through the clearance bin and finding a gem that’s rough but weirdly fun. It doesn’t take itself seriously, which is its biggest charm—but that same irreverence can sometimes bleed into the game’s rougher edges. If you're looking for a polished, balanced shooter, this isn’t it. But if you’re up for a chaotic, offbeat battle royale with a strong sense of humor and enough creativity to keep you coming back—for at least a few dozen matches—it’s worth your time.

Pros:

Inventive and hilarious setting

Fast-paced, unpredictable matches

Satisfying melee and object-throwing combat

Solid cosmetics without predatory monetization

Cons:

Only one map, leading to repetition

Hit detection and animations need work

Inconsistent matchmaking and too many bots

Occasional crashes and performance issues

Rating: 7.5 / 10

It’s far from perfect, but Retail Royale is a wild, weird ride that delivers more laughs than you'd expect from a furniture store deathmatch.

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it really is a good game i wish more people played it