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Also somehow my wives have a tendency of just getting themselves killed within a year of marriege.
Particularly, because as you grow, you will quickly outlive your partner (you'll basically have to gather ALL the items everyime you breaktrough, for both you - and your partner. It is such a chore.
And, unlike partners, initial destinies cannot be changed.
I hate that destiny when it rolls:) It is useless. Maybe only for some weird RP...
Heaven's Chosen
Heaven's Chosen NPCs are the strongest NPCs so ideally you'd want your Master/Student/Sibling/Parent/Spouse to be a Heaven's Chosen.
The thing is, it's not long to get a great lover at HC.
Soooo, lovers/relatives are indeed of great use, but it's not hard to get them.
As a starting destiny :
- charisma
- agility
- travel speed
- perception
- luck
These on the other hand are not easy to gain, so you should aim for them.
In the end, if this doesn't matter to you, true love as well as attack or defense boost are of great use early in the game.
If you want to RP being Dao Lovers then go for it. However as others have said, it'll take you two sets of materials to upgrade yourself and your wife (they will never farm a single thing).
But in the end it's more about RP, except if you play on harder difficulties.