Ranking/Result Explaination

[Kendo †]

So I just finished the first level and I finished with a 'Almost MikeJ' Rank. I have no clue what that means or if it means I did ♥♥♥♥ or not. Can someone list the ranks and maybe explain what their criteria is or what their names mean? I tried looking it up and all I got were reviews of the game and a fandom wiki for the items.

[The Weed Monster 420]

"Almost Mike J" Means you were close to 100% completing the level, but missed a few things. If you 100% a level, you'll either get "Doomf*ck" or "The Demon". It isn't based on performance at all, and instead based on picking up every item, killing every enemy, collecting every codex entry, and finding every secret.

[WonderSparks]

I'd like to add there are also "ranks" based on completing a level quickly, as in a speedrun.
At least, I'm assuming there's more than one; I've only ever beat the speedrun threshold once