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Why not just pick up a log or 2 and bounce them off his head? I bet that would fix it.
Oh please.. Kevin works best with the occasional clomp over the head and Virginia has limbs to spare if you ever did accidentally mangle any.
Actually, it's most often your mom that tucks me into bed^ And anyway it's not that time yet. I'm busy getting day-drunk playing with plebs on the internet.
Also, tell that slag to remember my bed time story when she comes over here next. It's the one about how I'm probably your dad^ (It's a whole drama, you should read it) AND, my bottle.. more vodka than milk this time.