Probably a Mental Health Thread....

[Spook]

Why does this game make me so mad?

This isn't the first time I've kind of lost it and stormed off from a game from this creator. But it's not the game mechanics so much as the storytelling style, I think?

I think I am maybe a third or half way through the game, and I keep seeing people say this game Is a cool and delightful storytelling game, that it so cozy and fun, but I feel like I am absolutely FIGHTING it every step of the way.

I'm really confused by some of the interactions and actively wondering if I am reading social ques wrong. I cant quite be sure if I am playing the game 'correctly' or if its trying to point out some flaw in my nature and its actively driving my Anxiety hardcore against a wall.

Someone tells me "Oh this is such a cozy game!"

Not from the story beat I just experienced. Holy god, no, I don't like seeing that. ;_;

I'm trying to steel myself to finish the game, the art is gorgeous and I love C148's music, but ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I want to punch something.

Why don't I get to be Cozy? :(

[Prof Goggles]

it's genuinely upsetting at points. there's definitely a cozy feel from it - the mechanics of running around, growing plants and making tea - but there's a lot both in the text and implied that's pretty damn dark. you're not wrong for feeling how you feel about it.

[Korto]

I feel the same. It's not cozy despite of the very colorful aesthetics, because it talks about burnout in a very realistic way, and it's painful seeing Alta being so anxious about how she will be able to recover. But I have no doubt it will have a happy ending (I think I'm halfway).

So no this is not a cozy or chill game. More a beautiful, melancholic, poetic, slow and very well-written game about burnout and how to rebuild yourself after it.

[Nyctanthia]

I had a moment with this game last night where I sat, looked around at my desk, and went, "...Oh.". I'll argue that it's not necessarily cozy, but rather, peaceful. And peace is a hard thing to come by in today's society, for all the reasons that Alta and the story show you. So, no, it's not cozy, but you can find peace in it. And it WILL make you angry if there's something that touches a nerve. Personally, after I had that moment, I just decided to take a cup of tea that Alta's already drank, sit in front of the shrine, and just, let her stay there for awhile.

[Stefneh]

You're feelings are valid, so never doubt whether you are playing something "correctly".

"Why don't I get to be Cozy?" - The thing is, I don't think this is a "cozy" game. People may be saying that, but it's fine to disagree. I don't think it is, at all. I think this is a reflective game.
It can be a reassuring game... for some people, but that doesn't necessarily mean cozy.

There will be people who connect with this game, and others that don't. and it's okay if you found that you don't.

I connected to this game because I saw some of my own flaws in Alta. She's a troubled perfectionist that pushes herself too hard and can be impatient. Me seeing myself in her to a degree was reassuring... especially when Boro is actively trying to support and reassure our character Alta, in turn doing the same for me.
That did not mean that I found the game cozy though. Reflecting on what we perceive to be our flaws is an innately uncomfortable thing. Seeing someone else struggling is also an innately uncomfortable thing.

Whatever it is that you don't enjoy, that's completely fine. But it is an interesting thought experiment if anything to ask yourself why you felt the way that you did about this game.
Whatever questions you ask yourself, and whatever answers you come up with, are all valid.
It's healthy to question ourselves and our feelings, as you have done here.

[LGHunter]

Originally posted by Stefneh:

You're feelings are valid, so never doubt whether you are playing something "correctly".

"Why don't I get to be Cozy?" - The thing is, I don't think this is a "cozy" game. People may be saying that, but it's fine to disagree. I don't think it is, at all. I think this is a reflective game.
It can be a reassuring game... for some people, but that doesn't necessarily mean cozy.

There will be people who connect with this game, and others that don't. and it's okay if you found that you don't.

I connected to this game because I saw some of my own flaws in Alta. She's a troubled perfectionist that pushes herself too hard and can be impatient. Me seeing myself in her to a degree was reassuring... especially when Boro is actively trying to support and reassure our character Alta, in turn doing the same for me.
That did not mean that I found the game cozy though. Reflecting on what we perceive to be our flaws is an innately uncomfortable thing. Seeing someone else struggling is also an innately uncomfortable thing.

Whatever it is that you don't enjoy, that's completely fine. But it is an interesting thought experiment if anything to ask yourself why you felt the way that you did about this game.
Whatever questions you ask yourself, and whatever answers you come up with, are all valid.
It's healthy to question ourselves and our feelings, as you have done here.

I wish my brain could be as concise as you are. I write an over-analysis of more than ten paragraphs and tens of thousands of words in other threads, and you get it in short order... And I think you hit the nail squarely there; well done, you deserve the award.

[Stefneh]

Originally posted by LGHunter:

I wish my brain could be as concise as you are. I write an over-analysis of more than ten paragraphs and tens of thousands of words in other threads, and you get it in short order... And I think you hit the nail squarely there; well done, you deserve the award.

Thank you so much for the kind words, and for the award! I really appreciate it.

If it's any consolation, me being able to express what I think and how i'm feeling in a concise form has only come from many many years of exactly that.
I always over-analyse and over-think, and there are times that it feels like my mind has too many thoughts going on at once, too many conflicting feelings to actually differentiate between (I'm now finding out in my 30s it's highly likely I have ADHD, which tends to show very differently in women than men).
Sometimes, I play a game and it takes me a few days of processing to really understand how I feel about it. I may look very put together when I write sometimes, but I promise you, it isn't the case! 😅 It's a difficult (and draining), exercise to question ourselves and our feelings, but I do think it's worthwhile, and I like to hope that it gets easier over time.

[El Burrito]

I don't think you're wrong to feel the way you do about the game. I found it hard to connect with, as someone who has already pushed themselves too much and burnt out, I've given up. It felt hard to really connect with Alta or the dialogue choices I was being given. I don't think that's wrong, it's just my experience.

[LispyisLSP]

In my opinion, there are two ways to view this:

1. It is okay to feel strong emotions towards any given thing and decide if something is for you or not for you. Feeling strongly is a part of our human experience, which is actually a huge part of this game's storyline. It is ok to say "This isn't for me" and that is all. It's not for you. I found many of the interactions frustrating, because <i>I</i> was not the character. I was leading someone else through their own journey and only had so much I could control as far as Alta's limited options for interaction. In my opinion, the interactions are a way to bring out the player's frustrations, in a way, and cause self-reflection as we reflect on Alta's supposed options for interaction.

2. I have been on an intense mental health journey for the past decade or so. I'm now approaching my 40s and have had much time to reflect on my growth and change over time. Something I have learned along the way is, when I feel very strong emotions that don't seem to be in sync, it means there is something there for me to learn. Some of the therapy lessons I was learning made me so angry, or scared, or anxious, because they didn't feel right. I wanted to run away from them, or fight against them, or ignore them. I found that the lessons that caused the most friction for me were the areas where there was the greatest opportunity for growth. Again, this is a video game. It isn't a therapy lesson. So take this point with a grain of salt.

I agree with most all the other comments. It is ok to feel intensely. No feeling is a bad feeling. It's all about how we handle our feelings in a way that leads us to efficacy. I hope the encouragement here helps you sort through the way you feel. Best wishes.

[Spook]

I've been reading all of these and I left the main post vague due to not wanting to start with spoilers, since the game was only about a week old. Now, I feel like adding a small bit;

Interacting with Ren hit me very hard. I had a gaming partner that I was close to like a Brother for many years, and between us, there was a Skull Mask that we wore, associated to our player faction, that held incredible meaning for both of us. We used to speak of it during deep nights of philosophical discussion and sitting under the stars with no other distractions.

I fell apart here. It became personal. Ren was like my 'Brother' in too many ways. We had a fight over something that made us part and its been more than ten years and the emotions are still a raw, bleeding wound.

When Ren handed me his mask, I wept IRL for days. I havnt spoken to my brother in years and when I finally did, I found out he hated me. The wound has just gotten so much deeper instead of healing.

The game had been fun, but now I cant go on.

[LGHunter]

Originally posted by Stefneh:

Originally posted by LGHunter:

I wish my brain could be as concise as you are. I write an over-analysis of more than ten paragraphs and tens of thousands of words in other threads, and you get it in short order... And I think you hit the nail squarely there; well done, you deserve the award.

Thank you so much for the kind words, and for the award! I really appreciate it.

If it's any consolation, me being able to express what I think and how i'm feeling in a concise form has only come from many many years of exactly that.
I always over-analyse and over-think, and there are times that it feels like my mind has too many thoughts going on at once, too many conflicting feelings to actually differentiate between (I'm now finding out in my 30s it's highly likely I have ADHD, which tends to show very differently in women than men).
Sometimes, I play a game and it takes me a few days of processing to really understand how I feel about it. I may look very put together when I write sometimes, but I promise you, it isn't the case! 😅 It's a difficult (and draining), exercise to question ourselves and our feelings, but I do think it's worthwhile, and I like to hope that it gets easier over time.

I can either give your choice of a high five or an awkward entirely platonic 5 second shoulder hug, as I'm female and diagnosed as Autistic which is also very male-coded in its diagnosis criteria. It's the reason I tend to have textual diarrhea...

It's interesting how different the takes are for this game depending on if the player is neuro-typical, neuro-divergent, or have other issues (PTSD, depression, bad memories as above, etc). We all understand it differently, react to certain events or tasks with enjoyment, disdain, sadness or anger, and interpret the ending with our own unique perspective.

[Finvaara]

As Alta, the number one method the game keeps trying to hand us as the "tool" for finding the solution to our problem is self reflection. The Ren story can hit very hard for a lot of folks because we've either been or have known somebody who was so similar to us, but that component of self awareness created a wedge that gradually grew when either we or our associate refused to pay attention to the situation.

It isn't wrong to drift apart from people, it's painful if you lose somebody you care about and it feels like they weren't listening to you, or like you didn't listen to them at the time you needed to.

[löyly]

Originally posted by Nyctanthia:

I had a moment with this game last night where I sat, looked around at my desk, and went, "...Oh.". I'll argue that it's not necessarily cozy, but rather, peaceful. And peace is a hard thing to come by in today's society, for all the reasons that Alta and the story show you. So, no, it's not cozy, but you can find peace in it. And it WILL make you angry if there's something that touches a nerve. Personally, after I had that moment, I just decided to take a cup of tea that Alta's already drank, sit in front of the shrine, and just, let her stay there for awhile.

This was an interesting comment for me who started a "peaceful" curator before the "cozy" trend arrived. I've considered adopting the term "cozy" for the kind of games I like and review, but decided against it. Definitely looking forward to checking out this game.

[Saturnberry]

I'm glad the game is helping folks with stuff. I've been in that forest a lot, in real life. X) lol I've come out the other side, a while ago, now. I hope others find their way, too, eh. :) So cool. 💛

[Stefneh]

Originally posted by LGHunter:

Originally posted by Stefneh:

Thank you so much for the kind words, and for the award! I really appreciate it.

If it's any consolation, me being able to express what I think and how i'm feeling in a concise form has only come from many many years of exactly that.
I always over-analyse and over-think, and there are times that it feels like my mind has too many thoughts going on at once, too many conflicting feelings to actually differentiate between (I'm now finding out in my 30s it's highly likely I have ADHD, which tends to show very differently in women than men).
Sometimes, I play a game and it takes me a few days of processing to really understand how I feel about it. I may look very put together when I write sometimes, but I promise you, it isn't the case! 😅 It's a difficult (and draining), exercise to question ourselves and our feelings, but I do think it's worthwhile, and I like to hope that it gets easier over time.

I can either give your choice of a high five or an awkward entirely platonic 5 second shoulder hug, as I'm female and diagnosed as Autistic which is also very male-coded in its diagnosis criteria. It's the reason I tend to have textual diarrhea...

It's interesting how different the takes are for this game depending on if the player is neuro-typical, neuro-divergent, or have other issues (PTSD, depression, bad memories as above, etc). We all understand it differently, react to certain events or tasks with enjoyment, disdain, sadness or anger, and interpret the ending with our own unique perspective.

Awkward entirely platonic 5 second shoulder hug sounds good to me!

I agree, it is interesting and I think the fact that it can be interpreted so differently by so many people is one of my favourite aspects of this game. It's reflective nature means any number of things can bounce back. After I played it and wrote my review I went and read others to see how other people interacted with the game. It's interesting to read about other peoples experiences, and it's quite nice to see some people open up. This game is quite special, really.