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Meaning that all I can say is to make sure that all conditions are properly met. First of all, if an update happens it is possible to play on different build versions for a few hours, but that's probably not it. It might be possible that you are not on the same map, like since you said instance there is the slight chance that you are'nt talking about an open world map but a pricate instance ...
But my best guess would be that for some weird reason you are actually in different server regions. so idk, maybe double or triple check if you really both are in the same server region? I don't know ho wto see it for sure, I guess. Maybe try to check the LFG and check if you see the same LFG's?
You could also try to use a Teleport to Friend item and see if that one works.
But we are in the same region... North America Serve
1. One is in EU servers while the other is in US servers.
2. One hasn't fully updated nor downloaded every update file and hit the PLAY NOW button pausing the download.
The latter is more likely so be sure both you and your friend have every file downloaded from the launcher. If not, you won't be able to see each other.
We are in NA servers...
Yeah, the game is fully updated.
Still not working =((((
1. If you both check the LFG, do both of you see the same LFG's?
2. What happens when you try to use a teleport to friend consumable?
Hopefully that’s the reason 🤞
The only possibility I can see is the second one only because I had a friend that did the same. She did not let the game fully download and hit the 'Play Now' button and the 'Join Instance' button did not show up for either of us. So she had to log off and complete the download.
I suppose the easiest way to check is through the WvW panel (by default the B key). If it is unavailable to either you or your friend (Eternal Battle Grounds and the 3 Borderlands maps), the download is not complete. Or log off and open the launcher and see if it starts a download.