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Usually the join queensdale button should work if you are all on the same map, aka queensdale. It often happens that different players land on different map instances, but usually that's what the join map instance button is for .... idk, maybe triple check if you really all are on the NA megaserver?
Thanks again.
Unless maybe the button is greyed out if you are free2play since they can't change the server that easily .... then I guess you would have to look up your server name and look it up in a list.
here is the list for NA
and here for EU
the only time you need for now to be on the same server / server group is for WvW otherwise as long as you are on the same map you should be able to start the storyline and all members will get a pop up asking if they wish to join you