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1. Your steam friends/chat is online
2. Your character is set to public or friends only NOT offline (this is just above the start button but below the character selection numbers)
The first one prevented me from finding my friends or them finding me whilst in game.
However the non stop updating that you mention, may be down to a security software preventing you or your friend connecting to each other. So this you have to check for.
I have my character set to public and the game is allowed in my antivirus software as well. Still stuck on updating screen when I click join game and no friends under my friends list in game. Man if i didn't buy the cdkeys elsewhere I would have refunded this game. Thank you for trying to help though.
Admin save location: C:\Users\ *usernamer* \Saved Games\Remnant2
Default save location: C:\Users\*username*\ Saved Games\Remnant2\Steam
Hope this fixes it for you. If you are not running in admin mode then check you windows firewall and add it if need be.
Ah crap....already refunded....would have try this out if I still own the game. But will still have the crashing issue to deal with though....