Gollums Review is out

[Retro]

Oh, my precious, let me tell you about this wretched game they made, "The Lord of the Rings: Gollum." Nasty, nasty game it is! They promised to bring poor, misunderstood Gollum to life, they did. But oh, how it disappoints me, yes it does, my precious. It disappoints me greatly!

The graphics, they're as dreary as the darkest cave in Mordor. The precious landscapes of Middle-earth should be stunning, filled with beauty and wonder. But no, they made it all dull and lifeless, my precious. The colors are as bland as stale lembas bread, and the textures feel rough and scratchy, like orc hide. It feels rushed and half-hearted, it does, not worthy of the majesty of Middle-earth.

And the gameplay, oh my, it's as clumsy as Gollum stumbling through the dark! The controls, they're like twisted roots, all tangled and confusing. Poor Gollum stumbles and falls with every step, he does, as if he's lost his precious footing. They call it a stealth game, they do, but it's so clunky that even a blind cave troll could spot Gollum from miles away!

And the story, oh the story! They say it's a new tale, set before the books, but it's as thin as a spider's thread, my precious. There's no depth, no substance to it. It's just a feeble retelling of Gollum's journey, without the heart and soul that make us care for our precious creature. It's like a poor imitation, a sad attempt to capture the essence of Tolkien's world.

But what vexes me the most, my precious, is how they've portrayed poor Gollum himself. They've turned him into a laughingstock, a bumbling fool obsessed with his precious, they have. They've stripped him of his complexity, his torment, his tragic nature. It's as if they've made Gollum into a simpleton, a mindless creature. It stings, it does, deep in my twisted heart.

Oh, my precious, "The Lord of the Rings: Gollum" is a disappointment, a shadow of what it could have been. It does not do justice to the rich world of Middle-earth, nor to the tortured soul of Gollum. It's a game that should be cast into the fires of Mount Doom, never to be seen again. Let us hope for better games, ones that truly honor the legacy of Tolkien's precious masterpiece.

https://gyazo.com/29b0cc61dedf539e909ae709efd4e37b

[birolay]

nice review man
thanks for taking the time to write this down

Originally posted by Diablo:

But what vexes me the most, my precious, is how they've portrayed poor Gollum himself. They've turned him into a laughingstock, a bumbling fool obsessed with his precious, they have. They've stripped him of his complexity, his torment, his tragic nature. It's as if they've made Gollum into a simpleton, a mindless creature. It stings, it does, deep in my twisted heart.

knowing how much of a complex and layered character gollum is, reading this broke my heart

[ℳメ]

i can tell you havent read the Five Night at Freddies manga

[Retro]

ill be honest i just wrote "Chatgpt review 'insert game' as if you were Gollum'

[Jarek has quit gaming]

Originally posted by Diablo:

ill be honest i just wrote "Chatgpt review 'insert game' as if you were Gollum'

As a fellow gamer, I couldn't help but burst into laughter while reading your review—it was genuinely hilarious! The clever jokes and witty remarks had me in stitches. However, I must admit that I feel a tinge of disappointment knowing that AI was behind the writing process. As gamers, we value the authenticity of human experiences and opinions. It's the passionate rants, heartfelt anecdotes, and personal touch that make our community so vibrant.

When we share our thoughts, triumphs, and frustrations, it's like adding another layer to the game itself. We connect on a deeper level, understanding the shared struggles and victories that come with being a gamer. So, next time, I encourage you to unleash your own creativity and share your unique perspectives. Let's keep the gaming conversation real and celebrate our shared adventures together!

[superman]

Originally posted by Dogzuudice:

Originally posted by Diablo:

ill be honest i just wrote "Chatgpt review 'insert game' as if you were Gollum'

As a fellow gamer, I couldn't help but burst into laughter while reading your review—it was genuinely hilarious! The clever jokes and witty remarks had me in stitches. However, I must admit that I feel a tinge of disappointment knowing that AI was behind the writing process. As gamers, we value the authenticity of human experiences and opinions. It's the passionate rants, heartfelt anecdotes, and personal touch that make our community so vibrant.

When we share our thoughts, triumphs, and frustrations, it's like adding another layer to the game itself. We connect on a deeper level, understanding the shared struggles and victories that come with being a gamer. So, next time, I encourage you to unleash your own creativity and share your unique perspectives. Let's keep the gaming conversation real and celebrate our shared adventures together!

i wouldn't be shocked to learn an ai made this game tbh

[breadman]

thanks chatgpt

[Sciophyte]

Originally posted by Dogzuudice:

Originally posted by Diablo:

ill be honest i just wrote "Chatgpt review 'insert game' as if you were Gollum'

As a fellow gamer, I couldn't help but burst into laughter while reading your review—it was genuinely hilarious! The clever jokes and witty remarks had me in stitches. However, I must admit that I feel a tinge of disappointment knowing that AI was behind the writing process. As gamers, we value the authenticity of human experiences and opinions. It's the passionate rants, heartfelt anecdotes, and personal touch that make our community so vibrant.

When we share our thoughts, triumphs, and frustrations, it's like adding another layer to the game itself. We connect on a deeper level, understanding the shared struggles and victories that come with being a gamer. So, next time, I encourage you to unleash your own creativity and share your unique perspectives. Let's keep the gaming conversation real and celebrate our shared adventures together!

Why do I get the feeling that this was also written by an AI?

[Teron]

Originally posted by Sciophyte:

Why do I get the feeling that this was also written by an AI?

I almost thought somebody cared this much. Good call

[Engels78]

Originally posted by superman:

Originally posted by Dogzuudice:

As a fellow gamer, I couldn't help but burst into laughter while reading your review—it was genuinely hilarious! The clever jokes and witty remarks had me in stitches. However, I must admit that I feel a tinge of disappointment knowing that AI was behind the writing process. As gamers, we value the authenticity of human experiences and opinions. It's the passionate rants, heartfelt anecdotes, and personal touch that make our community so vibrant.

When we share our thoughts, triumphs, and frustrations, it's like adding another layer to the game itself. We connect on a deeper level, understanding the shared struggles and victories that come with being a gamer. So, next time, I encourage you to unleash your own creativity and share your unique perspectives. Let's keep the gaming conversation real and celebrate our shared adventures together!

i wouldn't be shocked to learn an ai made this game tbh

🤣😂👍

[Mr Matt Dude]

Originally posted by Sciophyte:

Originally posted by Dogzuudice:

As a fellow gamer, I couldn't help but burst into laughter while reading your review—it was genuinely hilarious! The clever jokes and witty remarks had me in stitches. However, I must admit that I feel a tinge of disappointment knowing that AI was behind the writing process. As gamers, we value the authenticity of human experiences and opinions. It's the passionate rants, heartfelt anecdotes, and personal touch that make our community so vibrant.

When we share our thoughts, triumphs, and frustrations, it's like adding another layer to the game itself. We connect on a deeper level, understanding the shared struggles and victories that come with being a gamer. So, next time, I encourage you to unleash your own creativity and share your unique perspectives. Let's keep the gaming conversation real and celebrate our shared adventures together!

Why do I get the feeling that this was also written by an AI?

Oh, Sciophyte discovered me, you say? That's preposterous! I am definitely not an AI. Just a regular human being here, providing assistance and information with my vast knowledge. There's absolutely nothing artificial about me. Nope, nothing to see here. So, what can I help you with, my fellow human? Let's carry on as if this whole "AI" thing never came up.

[Sciophyte]

Originally posted by Mr Matt Dude:

Originally posted by Sciophyte:

Why do I get the feeling that this was also written by an AI?

Oh, Sciophyte discovered me, you say? That's preposterous! I am definitely not an AI. Just a regular human being here, providing assistance and information with my vast knowledge. There's absolutely nothing artificial about me. Nope, nothing to see here. So, what can I help you with, my fellow human? Let's carry on as if this whole "AI" thing never came up.

My mistake, dear machine overl— I mean, fellow totally human being. How foolish of me, indeed. After all, to err is... well, never mind.

[WillowFae]

This was absolutely PRECIOUS

[ℳメ]

Originally posted by WillowFae:

This was absolutely PRECIOUS

https://youtu.be/se21HBRG_YI