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Hope I helped? Let me know :)
Lily M's right on. You can just as well go into build mode to locate urns or tombstones of sims whom have passed on even if there are other sims living in that residence [they won't touch them]. If you locate an urn, place it outside somewhere on the lot so when your sim visits, they can just pick it up off the grass or something without necessarily needing to bother the household inside. [Have done this several times at least]
Don't worry. Your sim's BFF is still around. I hope you find their resting place and bring it home to you.
I was able to find my friends urn and i made him a little home shack in the backyard, my own sim doesnt have too much longer but im happy they get to be ghost buddies in the backyard now