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You need to reload to a previous save before you get any farther into the game if you still want to romance her (sorry, sucks). Choosing the "Im not kidding" option after choosing the "You know, a drop..." option will break her romance and it will make it unobtainable.
Follow this guide. You can read what I told you on this first bullet point under Chapter 3.
https://www.neoseeker.com/pathfinder-wrath-of-the-righteous/guides/Romancing_Arueshalae
You can use the Toybox mod and you can attempt to "unflag" the event that happened so that the romance isn't broken. This wouldn't require retracing any of your steps or loading an old save. I haven't tried doing this myself so I don't know the exact "flag" to clear to unbreak the romance, but I believe it should be in there.
If you want to attempt that, I can try to guide you a bit better. https://imgur.com/a/pKRSuWO
If you understand Russian you might have a better chance too, a lot of the notes & comments in the mod for this stuff is in Russian.
Well if you want to give it a shot, you can get the Toybox mod on Nexus. Its free, it's one of WOTR's most popular mods.: https://www.nexusmods.com/pathfinderwrathoftherighteous/mods/8
Instructions for install are there, it's pretty straightforward. You'll have to install the Unity Mod Manager first and use that app to install Toybox. Be aware that by installing this mod it will disable future WOTR Steam achievements, unless you check the box that circumvents this.
Before you start playing with the mod, make several backups of your save files, including copying the actual save to a folder outside of wherever your saves are located, just to be safe. Playing with Etudes can very easily break your save if you don't know what you're doing (and haven't backed up your save first).
Once Toybox is installed, you open the mod manager with CTRL + F10 and click the row for Toybox. On that first page towards the bottom is the Steam achievements checkbox. At the top are different categories of what the mod can do. If this problem is solvable, it will be solved in the "Etudes" category. Search for "arue".
https://imgur.com/a/MmF8JB8
What you see will probably look at least a little different than me. I'm hoping that it's as simple as you have some additional information in that ArueshalaeRomance_Fail bullet that can be removed or altered maybe. I don't really know for sure beyond that. You will have to play around with the info you find... And off the top of my head I'm not entirely sure how you'll "test" your results to confirm the romance is fixed. Talking with her maybe? Depends where exactly you are.
I wouldn't know how to fix that I'm afraid. If I was determined enough, I would start editing the different things in those Etudes, using that Neoseeker guide to help me figure out what needs to be changed and trying to match that to what I see available to edit. That sounds very difficult though, even for me.
Your other option is to find a save file, preferably of someone romancing her that is maybe a little further than you in the game.... and either just use that save file to continue playing the game yourself, or using that save file to inspect how their Etudes look and try to replicate with your original save.
Or romance Lann? I like Lann too lol