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The mechanics of the game are geared towards interacting with the other characters, increasing their opinion of you, making them feat you or assassinating them to reach your goals.
Managing crisis like successions and vassals rebellions is part of the game.
As to making the character more like you, did you try the ruler designer? After your first character, you have to marry in such a way to get the heir with the traits that you want. Of course, it can be a bit of a hit or miss, as genetics usually are.
I would say playing as Ireland you should also embrace tanistry and figure out ways to put the heir that you want on the throne. Again, this goes back to diplomacy, intimidation or revoking titles and installing vassals more favorable to you so they will vote your way.
The game actually loses a lot of the fun for me the closer I get to absolute control. In my current run I started with Scotland in 867, created Britannia around 950 and became the strongest army in the game around 1100. I'm now in 1200, winning crusades single handly and the next 3 kingdoms combined can't touch me. My vassals are terrified of me and I have absolute crown authority with high partition so succession is a breeze. I'm happy with what I've achieved, but it's also getting kinda boring...
Some of the most dull gameplay to me for example happened when i was owning everyone nation by nation and ''Tried'' to use meta to get a great character as my heir, its very hard to do that to get exactly what you want but there are ways.
But by far the most fun campaigns were where i was either losing, was a vassal to someone much more powerful, or just straight up roleplayed as my ruler would play depending on his perks and traits. The game also rewards you from playing that way by the way.
A more obscure suggestion that i highly recommend tho once you get some confidence is being a count and vassal of any of the bigger kingdoms at the start of the game (867 start). Il highlight West Francia, East Francia and the Byzantine Empire as my personal favorites.
I could just keep playing. Maybe my empire could fall into pieces if i am not careful enough or if i got really bad luck but overall I am facing much less challenges at this point. I will probably start another save (most likely Ironman) and which character would you recommend me to play as? I'd start at 867 with a bit different experience from either Tzar of Russia or King of Ireland (not necessarily harder)
The only two things I find enjoyable about the game are:
1. Going for world domination in the most ridiculous way possible and see how far you get, i.e. found a new religion that is basically LaVeyan Satanism but still fundamentalist and with you as the head of faith. Complete some origin-based events (like Norse can dismantle the papacy).
2. Hunt achievements