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What you have to do if you want to keep all of your domain is to make sure you have no excess heirs. Not birthing them is a good start, consider killing your wife after she squeezes out the first boy and remarry some post-menopausal crone if you need the spouse stat boost. If you have the Sadistic trait, you can just kill excess heirs outright. Another thing you can do is force them to be knights and send them off to war.
Finally, as dynasty head you can disinherit them - this always works (as far as I know), but it costs precious Renown which will set you back towards unlocking Legacies.
There's a few things you can do if you fail to remove excess heirs and your domain is split. With Authority 2 or more you can revoke titles from your vassals, siblings included, but this will agitate everyone. As their liege, you're also first in line to inherit vassals' domains should they die without an heir, which is easier to ensure for your immediate siblings.
It's a lot of work, often difficult and horrendously unreliable, and in my opinion not really worth pursuing actively. Don't forget that excess heirs are also backups, and that the death of a sole heir at the wrong time can be nothing short of disastrous.
https://www.reddit.com/r/CrusaderKings/comments/iow29y/psa_how_to_ensure_that_youre_primary_heir_gets/
I try to make sure I only end up with 2 sons... (One as backup)
When getting close to die, you can do a couple things. Disinherit the son you think have worst stats. Or make sure you can given up a few holdings and a duchy. That way he won't make any claims within your primary douchy and holdings.
Sadly in CK3 you have to learn to do cheesy meta tactic's I could list a couple for you....
Seduce random woman get a ton of bastards choose the best bastard and legitimize him....
Don't marry until you have the Celibacy Perk in Learning Unlocked then get married and go celibate after your first son is born.
Marry normally and make your extra sons Knights and send them into battle with no troops so they end up dead....
For some reason a group of players like this Gavelkind crap and when you express an opinion contrary to it, they automatically assume your crap at the game and you need to learn to play! And refuse to understand that some of use would prefer to play our game the way we want to play our game! We can now make the flying speghetti monster religion if we want.... Woman are sleeping with everything that moves! But omg Gavelkind must be Historical even though their is tons of Historical precedent of Primo well before 1200 AD.....
Again Forced Gavelkind is not a difficulty modifier its simply an annoyance that locks the player out of a prefered play style!
Their is nothing difficult about CK3 when the CB flow like water!!! And you have 12 of them without even trying to get 1.....
Pretty much. Partitioning tries to evenly divide the titles, but it counts titles already held and your primary title seems not to be counted (since it goes to your direct heir either way). So if you have four sons and four duchies, handing three of the duchies to your non-heir son before you die ensures your heir gets the last duchy plus your primary title.
Therefore for best results, any time you have a son you want to go conquer him some land, and try not to conquer more land than you have male heirs unless you're making a bid for a higher title.
There's several other methods for playing around with it, like adding specific succession laws to individual titles, but if you just want the simple method use the above; for every son after your primary heir conquer a duchy and award them the title before you die.
short ver.
Give all the land and lords(under you) to the heir when you are close to dead.
when the heir gain everything and died before you then that is another problem...
What actual historical data show and whatever "realism" the game try to throw at you, is quite different things.