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And if you can't win the war, just take the blow. Ideally, you want the previous ruler to have made you a stack of cash to buy mercenaries to win the war. Otherwise just sway, have a high diplo heir and a high diplo spouse and a high diplo counselor... which might progressively de-escalate the situation. It's impossible to do as a kid though (low diplo and no spouse).
Aight gotchu. Everything is going really smoothly for me except the transition from one ruler to another. I'll try this.
If the power of the faction is not overwhelming, you can try to lower crown authority and place some or all of them on the council to lower their dislike.
As a child, it may come to simply accepting that the realm will split up and you need to be patient until you come of age and then re-consolidate over time.
This keeps you from losing lands to inheritance and making for you have great vassals to throw on the council.
As far as succession goes, tribal realms auto create titles. No way around that. So you should be creating every title possible so you are getting the prestige. Then to to keep your core domain in your capital duchy you conquer and new duchy for every child. Give them a title or two there and the duchy. You should have a kingdom before your first ruler dies. Because they have a duchy they are removed from the succession line. Because you have a kingdom they stay in your realm.
Now for the final step. Use your prestige from creating titles to change your kingdom succession laws. You have to do it for each individual kingdom you have. If you are a religious head do it for your religious title as well.
Because you have been conquering, gaining prestige, holding feasts, swaying, and planning your vassals out ahead of time so you have avoided tyranny, and most likely have dread from executions, you vassals will all vote exactly the same as you. Pick you favorite kid. Vote for him for all titles. He will get all your kingdoms, your religious title, and if you play the "give every kid their own duchy game" every title in your main and secondary duchy.
I've been through three succession and never lost a single county and kept 6 fully upgraded tribal counties in my main duchy.
Oh so its best to give titles to courtiers then marry your family members to them? I thought family members that had titles generated more legacy points? (new to CK:P)
Could you explain the part where you marry off your courtiers so you don't lose land to people outside your realm?
As a tribal it should be reasonably easy. As feudal it might be more difficult but just start to go full stewardship with golden obligations perk when you hit 50 or so and rake in the money by blackmailing vassals (which then are poorer and therefore can't hire mercenaries).
2 - Send 'gifts' to you most powerful vassals and any who have positive opinions in schemes
3 - Make sure you are using your spouse's diplomacy buff
3 - Switch to diplomacy lifestyle and unlock 'befriend' (Seriously, its an insanely powerful perk and should be higher up on that tree).
4 - Target the most powerful vassals taking part in factions with 'befriend'
5 - Grant troublesome counts to dukes and troublesome dukes to kings. Let your vassals deal with their BS.
Also before this make sure you have a LOT of gold for bribes and I always educate my children with guardians with very high diplomacy. I also marry wit diplomacy in mind. I never have succession wars, just a bit of whack-a-mole with undermining factions by making everyone my best friend (Can backfire with stress if a bunch of these friends all die around the same time)