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Generally speaking, if you want your heir to get one duchy, give a duchy to your other kids, and it should be fine. If you're in late game and can consistently maintain two duchies, give two duchies away to your kids. I'd also suggest modifying their feudal contract to ensure partition is enforced. Once that land is given to your kids, any other remaining land should be handed to people who aren't your kids.
If there's a lot of dynasty members out there who are unlanded, and don't stand to inherit, consider giving them a shot with a county. The more of your dynasty that is landed, the faster your dynastic renown grows. That said, you don't necessarily want to end up being the only family of your religious group - which can happen if you only hand land out to family. Everyone just starts marrying other family members. Landing other characters is quite helpful in that regard. Also, I personally find that giving land to court chaplains of lower vassals is quite helpful in converting freshly conquered kingdoms of different faiths.
For your other kids, any land you give them *should* count for succession. IE, if you only have one kingdom, one Duchy, and four counties in your Domain, it should all go to your primary heir if all his brothers also have a Duchy and four counties. Should. Succession is kinda broken, to be fair.
Of course, if your primary heir then gets killed for some reason and his brother is now the heir and holding as much as you do, he's probably not gonna get anything from your domain now. Seems best to start further down the line and work your way towards the primary for this reason.
Also don't put them right next to each other or they'll probably try to fight each other, take land, screw up the succession weights, get themselves killed, etc because everyone of your bloodline not under your personal control instantly becomes a suicidal lemming with intelligence as their dump stat.
Game also doesn't care what the land is, so you could make your one kid the Duke of three cows in some tribal land in Ireland as long as he has the same numbers as you kid holding Ile de France.
Personally I focus on baronies since those never get split up.
Edit: On Ironman using this strategy I have had a 100% stable Francia Empire, never has any kingdom been created and given to an heir since I preemptively give any titles I get away to someone else.
Note that you only get renown for dynasty members who are independent and not the subject of other dynasty members, including you. So if you're getting +2.5 from having dynasty members as all the independent Dukes of Ireland, then one of them becomes King of Ireland, suddenly you're down to +1 renown instead.
The best way I've found to farm renown is to get your dynasty into Duchies that are subjects of big foreign powers. They're safe from external invasion and will breed and marry inside that kingdom by themselves over time.
Can also be useful to have dynasty members of different faiths groups because they can marry within that faith group. Put a dynasty member on the Throne of Navarra as England and got furious when they immediately converted to Islam, but then realized they'd be able to spread their kids throughout the Muslim world now, which is a benefit in the long run.
In addition to what is said above, if you have no titles and any sons/daughters ask to leave your court I usually let them. I was playing a Chola game and somehow a bunch of dynasty members conquered their own kingdoms on their own.
I wouldn't usually recommend exploits, but the AI constantly uses this one currently so I see no reason to handicap yourself until they fix it.
That's not entirely true. You get renown based on the number of living members, which can be fairly significant if you ensure your dynasty is getting as much lands as possible. If they don't have land, they eventually die out. Right now, in the game I'm playing, I'm getting 9.5 renown a month, with 274 living members of the dynasty. All living members live within my lands.
Edit: Also, it states "A ruler does not generate renown if their liege is of the same dynasty". Not entirely sure how that works, but perhaps if you, as Emperor, had Kings under you who were not your dynasty, but all of his vassals were of your dynasty, perhaps they would generate more renown.
Be very careful with this if you're giving away a kingdom while playing as a culture that can adopt an elective succession. AI *loves* to pass elective, and children from a Matrilineal marriage don't seem to count as actually being his kids for election candidacy, so even if he's the only elector he'll vote to give the kingdom away to some random French courtier because he can't select his own kid.
Yeah pretty much, and also because you don't want your heir to do his own stuff. (marriage, wars, claims). I have had an entire family die because of that stuff. And an unrelated note, go into your marshal/war tab and forbid your sons from being knights/commanders unless they are really good.
You're correct, you'll still get the renown for having living members, but the second part is what I was talking about.
Having a Duke of your dynasty who is not a subject of another dynasty member gives you +0.5 renown, or as much as 25 living members. King is +1. Also goes off the Top Realm, so if you're emperor, no King or Duke under you will give you any more renown than if they were a regular courtier, just the +0.02 for existing.
That's why it's so powerful to spread your dynasty outside your realm. Having one kid as Long of some tiny pagan realm east of Finland gives as much renown as 50 living family members inside your own realm.
*Edit* Also forgot to mention, you also get 0.4/0.8 for having a dynasty member married to a Duke/King who is not a subject of another dynasty member.