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But you CAN reform or create your own religion to accept same sex marriage and thats totally legit for Ironman.
Take it as a gameplay challenge.
On one hand i can understand why its annoying but on the other hand its how Paradox always handled non historical game rule options. They always disable achievements and same sex marriage is a major change from history.
So honestly, just play without achievements? Its not like the game is worse if you dont get achievements, i have hundreds of hours in nearly all released Paradox games and i never bothered with achievements in any of them, i love using mods and alternative game rules way too much.
Kind of pointless when marriage had nothing to do with love for the nobility of the time in the first place. Love was often exercised outside of marriage, either as carnal lust, romantic affection, or both, just as it is in CK3.
It's probably why the game didn't originally bother with same sex marriage in the first place, until people complained. You could already find same sex romance outside of marriage, and indeed if all involved parties were gay, it was the only kind of romance you could find. Not sure why the demand for marriage when that was already in place, to be honest. It's either a case of modern affectations overriding historical norms, or... I dunno, gotta piss off the Christians I guess?
1) It's non historic
and 2) In a game where adoption isn't an option, not to mention bloodlines being such an important factor in those times and ingame, having such feature enable would quite literally kill off important families as there would be far less, or no babies being made.
Still wasn't able to what, get achievements? I get the feeling the actual problem is you're not playing on ironman mode, the only way to get achievements in the first place. You could start a religion of asexual cannibals in ironman mode and you'd still be getting achievements.
Now that sounds like an interesting episode of Kings and Generals.
2) Make baby -> divorce -> be gay.