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Not 100% sure. Somebody double check me.
That part is wrong, dynasty of children depends on the type of marriage. With the default being the children are of the father's house, unless it was a matrilineal marriage which then means they are of the month.
For gaining territory, it depends on a couple things.
In general, if person has to be landed and have a title equal or higher then the title they are gaining, then they will stay in your empire.
If the title is higher, then they will break off and take their stuff.
Example of this from a game where I played Spain, where a count vassal I had was inline to inherit a duke title in southern France. Game gave a warning that there was a chance that I would loose land if that vassal inherited. After giving my count vassal a Duke title, this went away and upon murdering the Duke in Southern France, my Duke gained all his land and vassals bringing southern France into the fold.
Alternatively, if she has enough children that one becomes unlanded as an adult. Invite them to your realm, and war to press claim to bring them into the fold.
Or just enjoy the extra Renown from having a King/Queen of your dynasty.
Wait, so I was correct?
If you don't give them and equal title, they'll leave. Regardless of marriage type.
However if she dies before your uncle, her kid will inherit her land but will remain independent. Also another consequence of her death before your uncle is that the kid will eventually inherit land of your empire, thus causing you to lose territory, but maybe your realm law might prevent this.
I am double checking to clarify that the type of marriage is what matters.
What you do is marry a son to a 3rd or 4th heir in a marriage that makes your dynasty rule the kingdom. Then you murder off all the other heirs before yours. In fact murder all the children so your marriage gets all the land.
Once the marriage takes place you may as well kill the current ruler on the throne too.
Actually you won't get the land. Your Son or whomever did the marrying will get the land as an independent ruler. They will be your dynasty though so it will enrich your house name. And basically you more or less 'deleted' a great house.
So I had done this before and there is two possible outcomes:
1. The main family of Queen of Sicely has more prestige and family members than you, then they can inherit the title of the queen. This also can happens if they have special inherit system of heir, like for example, an elective monarchy or something (this is more likely in late, so chill if not at that point).
2. They (your uncle's son and member of your dynasty) inherit their mothers title, but as independent ruler, but if your are the head of your house, he/she can make an alliance with you.
This are the two scenarios, now... If you want the title:
3. Let your cousin have the title, as the head of the dynasty claim his title and then declare war on them. Taking all his land in the process.
This is my recommendation, good luck in your campaign.
LOL.... it's actually much better than it sounds. You can also make that son of your your Heir. and then that makes his son the heir to both kingdoms.