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Another thing that can help is expanding the realm for your children, who will then (hopefully) become nice loyal powerful vassals for their sibling
However, the Italia-to-Rome decision requires you to have Latin heritage, meaning if you were to have both empires, have Italia as your primary title, and not be of Latin heritage, you'd be shown neither decision. Making the HRE your primary title, or converting/hybridizing to a Latin heritage culture should fix the issue.
Lower Loraine for the Cathedral/Holy Site, and both have plenty of counties/baronies. Managing HRE, you're going to need Gold Generation and Lots of Troops. These two duchies are very safe. Also, The duchy that has Paris if you're French is great.