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Edit: It does cost some prestige, usually but not always.
I tried to look for such a thing, but I think I have not seen it anywhere
1) Are you sure you have an alliance? If you select your character it should show your allies flag and if you hover over it say why you are allied (who is married for example).
2) Assuming you're in a war, check the notifications at the top. There should be something along the lines of 'can invite allies to war'.
3) If no for 2, try right clicking on the allied ruler and see if there is an option there.
Edit: Note there is other flags by the alliances too, slightly different, which are for truces. Make sure it's not that.
I might be slightly wrong on those specifics but there is rules like that.
Basically each AI ally considers themselves an independent entity, and will only attack if their numbers directly beat the opponent with a few exceptions. Which makes AI allies as a whole pretty much worthless.
Always remember that your allies are "people" (I mean they're computers, but speaking in-universe), try to get in their head, and maneuver accordingly. Things become a little easier then.
Anyway, usually when I entered wars, whether initiated by me or not, I usually got a notification to invite allies. But now I don't get a notification. I can see that I have 7 allies when I open the war button in the bottom right corner, but there is no notification, and no action to be made by right clicking the various allies (and no, it's not because it's their leige, I couldn't invite during invasion of a different kingdom, nor a peasant uprising).
Anyone know if this is a bug or if I by accident might have lost the option to invite allies in war?
However, he was already an ally in that war, and that war was much closer than my war. So he, and his enemy, seem to have become completely immobile, not defending any of their counties in their war.
This left me to waste prestige and basically attack myself in my war. So yeah, be careful if there's any wars going on closer to your ally's territory.