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As a king I don't think i could wage war against my vassals. I can fire them, but I don't want to do anything that is not just.
The question really: how do my other children will get domains if my domains are only in the primary duchy and ofc i want them to belong to my heir only.
If you already own these duchy titles but not the counties within: This is actually the proper succession method under Partition.
Press F2, click on the succession tab. You will see that the other sons than your firstborn will directly inherit several duchies.
What happens after succession? The sons get their duchy titles, and whoever currently lives in the duchy capitals is being kicked out.
So the only thing to control is: Having exactly as many extra duchy titles as you have extra sons.
If you have 5 duchies and 3 sons, you should destroy two of the duchy titles. Assuming that one of them is located at your realm capital.
Looking again at the succession tab, this should display the extra sons receiving exactly 1 duchy. And whenever a new son is born, you simply create and keep a duchy title.
Future goal for every ruler's lifetime is to simply conquer as much land as possible, so there's always enough titles to create. Don't accept new vassals who already are dukes for this reason.
So everytime you conquer one or several counties, give them to individual lowborns or other very unimportant nobles (no claims, no family ties to landed dynasties, etc).
There is a penalty for landing lowborns, but you can circumvene that by giving them a barony within your own counties first.
You can see the succession tab who inherits what. You can watch videos on elective succession on youtube, there are plenty (which may not help you at all).
After succession from everything getting split up is, if they ARE not independent after succession, just fabricate a claim and then revoke the title with NO tyranny. Yes you will be in a weakened state, and your vassals may come for you. HERE is the deal, IF...IF your vassals (other dukes and counts come for you, just let them take it, surrender and keep your lands that you own. Start taking back the easy stuff, and you'll automatically have a claim on all the other stuff.
Next time, create fewer heirs. There are alot of videos available on youtube for this as well.
Enjoy and Good Luck.
You can get away with 3 of them, but not 4. Vassals won't leave a revolt unless they're at 80 opinion. So... with a -30 vassal penalty... ur not gonna be able to halt a revolt if all your vassals hate you at -30. You're gonna have to get rid of 2 of those 5...or destroy 2 of them.
Personally, I don't give the kids land. It can cause problems when they marry on their own. You have a 10 year grace period, but after 10 years they will marry who ever they want. And often, they marry into crappy stats. Also, their kids can screw up succession plans, too. And if you're playing a queendom... you get the added bonus of their kids being of the wrong Family, due to the game not selected matrilineal Marrage (that caused problems for me in my Mother of us all, run. Had to kill 4 kids to fix it; and hope that my character didn't die before killing them all...or game over..)
Anyways...the game doesn't care where the county they own is at... Just realize that giving away a Duchy means that the county holder's liege is gonna be the Duchy holder. So, you're gonna get a opinion penalty, if those County holders still answer to you. It's a minor penalty... I think it's -5 from the county holder. You also take a hit on Soldier and Cash tax.
After I became king I created two new duchy titles. This was probably a bad idea, but I was going to give them to my sons, which can be a bad idea too, but I don't mind.
What i did not anticipated is that they can't be given without also giving them holdings of somekind.
Actually I think I can live with the -45 vassal opinion for now, my position is strong at the moment. So if I understand rigth after the king's death they will get at duchies and with it they will kick out the current residing vassal from the duchy capitol.. it's alright I guess..
https://ck3.paradoxwikis.com/Duchy_buildings
Doesn't matter much early era because you're likely not gonna be advanced enough to build on that special tile, but by inovation era 2 they can give you a huge boost.
https://ck3.paradoxwikis.com/Special_buildings
I was left with a single duchy, but with all its holdings. Drank myself into early grave and left with a single son with no claims. This son now got 4 sons.., this will leave my heir a single domain or two at max.
What am I suppose to do if I want to be "good" but still keep my duchy intact?
disinherit seems like a cheap option. How can I avoid to have this many sons? should I divorce after the first? I don't want to murder my sons.. but they will surely fight now.
My idea now is to make my vassals revolt so I might revoke some titles, but how to do it that is not too out of character for a "nice personality" ruler?
I choose a wife around age 30 ish. That usually gets me around 3 or 4 kids before she is unfit to have anymore kids. Usually around the age of 45 they cannot breed anymore.