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This is a fantastic post. I spent a bit of time trying to rationalize with the imperialists back in CK2. But to no avail unfortunately. In my current Barcelona run I'm about to be on my third character, not even remotely close to becoming a king...let alone gaining independence from the Karlings. (And that third character is going to be terrible, awful stats)
No it is not, like not at all:
https://youtu.be/Noxy8ykrHx4
And I still think the "just restrict yourself" approach shows the bad design of the game (e.g. all the balancing issues) and is not a good advice for general play. In my opinion using everything that the game offers you to your advantage is the right way to play any game. The problem is you dont even need to min-max anything in CK3 to be way to strong since the AI just is way to bad at, mostly but not only, managing the stability and eco of their realm. Like its not uncommon to see the AI sitting on enormous amounts of e.g. gold (highest I have seen was 4k I think) while their army is not maxed out neither are their holdings
If you want to do a challenge while achieving X (for example only defensive wars and becoming emperor of e_hispania thru inheritance only) its fine as a funny challenge run idea, but if you just want to do a casual game it is not, atleast in my opinion
Although one thing I would like to see added is a popular opinion hit for losing wars.
You are not really restricting yourself though, because the goal of the game isn't to conquer the entire map. The game is more a sandbox, but if there was a goal it would likely revolve around your dynasty.
Just as an example, if you take over the entire map and then give all your land to one child and the rest of your children are left to die off alone, with no land, no children and no prospects, and you do that generation after generation is that really winning?
It is possible you have your family do better and live better lives as a kingdom of ten counties than in an empire of 50, if you properly manage them. So people are not really telling you to restrict yourself, they are saying, "Hey there are all these other aspects of the game, why not try them out too?"
Also, some people kind of cheese things by expanding really quickly, then getting bored and quitting before the consequences of their actions come back to hit them. Is it really winning if you make a massive empire that is just going to collapse and splinter all apart in a couple of generation, but you quit just before it happens?
With a game where numbers are an important part of the gameplay components, it doesn't seem difficult to me to make a hard mode. Increase penalties, decrease bonuses.
Increase AI aggressiveness. Increase disease rate, dangerousness. etc
Crusader Kings is not EU or Civ6 or any of those other map painting games. Its more about role playing in the time period and rewriting history via diplomacy and the historical characters and relationships of the time. Its hard to explain the concept, much less for some to understand it, since CK is a one of a kind game but there is a lot more to it than just painting the map.
For those of us who aren't too keen as it pertains to role playing and utilizing their imagination to recreate their own historical events, the best I would suggest is to look through the list of achievements and attempting to complete some of those tasks. Many of those achievements present a much greater challenge than just jumping in the game willy nilly with the only objective being that of paining the map. The way I see it, those achievements are Paradox's way of providing alternate options to those who seek a greater challenge in the game.
You could try to roleplay and not exploit the mechanics. Then most likely the game would be a completely different experience to you.
If you just want to "paint the map" then sure it is easy, but that is not really its strong suit.. I would recommend playing EU series or even HoI4 if you want another type of challange, that revolves mout about either "painting the map" or in hoi´s situation, "warfare"
This game is, well all game is.. very easy to control if you want to exploit.. you could take over the world in CK3 within the span of 100 years if you wanted too... but what would be the point of that I ask? This is a game that allows you to create a story, play a dynasty (the character roleplaying is essential to the experience in my opinion)
Again.. you can either try and set your own goals or try roleplaying (create a story with synery and allow the mechanics to give you various random developments) or you could even just don´t abuse the mechanics.
It is all up to you ofc.. if you wanna paint the map, do so.. I just feel like EU4 would be better suited for that.