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To keep the realm together with confederate partition there are a few tricks you can use.
1. Give titles to your second son until he is no longer eligible to inherit any. I believe 2 duchy equals a kingdom.
2. Add an elective succession to your non primary kingdom title/s
3. Disinherit/kill your second son
My recommendation is to just roll with it. You now have a second kingdom in your dynasty, which gets you more renown. Stay friends with your Welsh brother, but just make sure he doesn't get strong enough to claim Ireland from you.
Alternatively, slow down your conquering. If you had conquered less than 50% of Wales, then the kingdom of Wales would not have formed, and the land would have stayed part of Ireland. Your second son would have become a Duke, and stayed a vassal of your heir.
If you can, make an alliance with your brother the welsh king, use the alliance to conquer new counties and duchies for Ireland in the English and Scottish region. Your goals should be: form kingdom of Scotland so it can split like welsh did while also growing the Irish crown with English counties.
Eventually you should be able to create kingdom of England. Make this your primary title, it’s the biggest of the kingdoms, solidifying your hold on the isles.
Finally, conquer your dynasty members on the other thrones, uniting them in a single glorious lifetime, creating the empire of Britainnia. Now you can let dynasty members be vassal kings and you’ve got the whole enchilada. Leading up to that you’ll also earn a ton of renown.
As an example where it all goes wrong, playing in Denmark I had a brother who took half the land in succession. We got along just fine, though, so that side of the family was vassalized to mine. His wife, though, we hated one another, and I had her banished. Fair enough, she married into another court. For two hundred years, her family worked on a claim to my titles, and while I sat and played happy King, she (and her heirs) marshalled my enemies against me. They eventually presented their claim, I rejected it, and then half of Europe used my corner of Denmark as their welcome mat. Yee-owch.
It is intended to work this way until you can create an empire. Just ignore the posts above about disinheriting everyone, this would only be the very last measure if you cannot provide enough titles in one generation.
All you need is to hold one duchy or kingdom title per extra son, let the partition law do its thing. As long as your primary heir keeps all the counties, you've done it right.
This does of course mean that you need to constantly expand your realm through forged claims or holy war / conquest.