How do I stop my vassals from hating me

[Retired]

How

[brownacs]

Sway/bribe generally also giving titles gives a pretty huge boost but that's unrealistic for keeping all your vassals happy once you have a few. Having a high diplomacy stat helps. Befriend's also great but that requires them to like you a bit first (and/or have a high diplomacy stat) or it'll likely fail. Alternatively go the dread route (find an evil religion, get a load of prisoners and execute them for pretty much free dread) and then it doesn't matter if they hate you (unless they're brave). Or/and get alliances/strong hooks with/on your vassals and then it also doesn't really matter if they hate you cos they can't really do anything about it. Oh feasting also gives a bit of a boost as does attending feasts but it's limited to quite a small number of people. I think that's it but I always forget something. I personally like a combo of bribe/sway/befriend and tactical marriages with high diplomacy player characters but that's just me.

[tetsu_maru]

Don't forget to have your chancellor focus on internal political landscape.

[WazirG]

Just play you gonna understand, read every info and every new Campaigne you made gonna be more good.

[Dufflebags]

A high diplomacy helps, and having your chancellor focus on domestic relations.

If you don't have good diplomacy, you can always marry someone who does and put them in charge of court relations.

Also use sway and gift as required.

[Retired]

What if I just kill my vassal?

[brownacs]

Originally posted by red_dragon:

What if I just kill my vassal?

Their title will be inherited and you'll get their heir as a vassal. If your vassal hates you, their heir will have an opinion negative, but it's not huge. If you're caught murdering or if you execute their family member then the heir will get a larger negative. (EDIT: also, if their heir is a child, children can't join factions until they're adults, so that can be useful) Another option would be to revoke the title (fabricate a claim if you want to avoid tyranny) then give it to someone who likes you (just giving it to someone will go a long way to making them like you).
EDIT: Also to add to what I wrote up there. The double bribe strength skill ('Thoughtful', the first one in the left tree 'Diplomat') is one of my absolute must haves for every character. Combine that with a high diplomacy and you can get +80 from bribes, if not more.

[Apsa]

Brownacs tips are really good. I would add that time will help. When you have a new ruler everyone has a negative opinion of him because of "short rule". Every year this is reduced and then becomes positive under long reign.

Going on a crusade will get you a small boost of popularity with same religion members.

You can take perks (lifestyle focus) for example "likable" will give you +10 with direct vassals and +20 with your liege.

Cheers.

[Father Damien]

I mean it happens every time you take over as your heir pretty much, you can spend a good amount of time getting good relations with all your vassals but the minute you die and take over as your heir they will all join a faction against you. Make sure you sway them all or befriend them depending on the lifestyle you choose. Make sure you hold lots of feasts and join all your vassals feasts too. There is the chancellor focus other people have mentioned too. I always make sure i am at 100% opinion with my powerful vassals. You can murder vassals to take them out of the equation but that doesn't stop the heirs from hating you too, i sometimes murder the vassal if they are attempting to take over my realm or i imprison the ones joining a faction if the are working against me with the help of my spymaster. There is the lifestyle focus which gives you bonus opinion with vassals i think it's the diplomacy route.

[brownacs]

Originally posted by Father Ted:

There is the lifestyle focus which gives you bonus opinion with vassals i think it's the diplomacy route.

There's no focus which does that (the diplomacy focuses are: +2 Dip +20% Fert, +3 Dip and +1 Dip +1 Prest). You can get guest/courtier opinion from a stewardship focus but that won't much help you with vassals. There is however a stewardship skill 'Likable' in the administrator path which gives +10 to vassal opinion and another, under it, 'Positions of Power', which gives +20 to Councillor opinion (like Apsa said). Those might've been what you were thinking of. Not sure they're worth the time it takes to get them personally.
EDIT: There's also Diplomacy's 'Defensive Negotiations' but that only gives a bonus to fellow vassals (and independent rulers), not your vassals.

[Slippin Jimmy]

murder them, they cant hate you if their dead.

[[FuFo] Mortucus]

have as few as possible
be the god of you're church
make all vassles and champions and council member worship you're church
pay them money
host feast's and partys ect ect
sceeme them into being ya friend

[[FuFo] Mortucus]

the best way is to make sons vassals of kindoms once you get massive
hand the title over to them then disinherit them straight away wile paused then ask them for an alliance and unpause when they take the alliance give them back their inhertence and you shouldnt take a hit to relations because you just gave them land and they think you are the ♥♥♥♥ lol

[[FuFo] Mortucus]

Originally posted by Slippin Jimmy:

murder them, they cant hate you if their dead.

i also do this to ones that refuse to convert or make trouble

[an entire Roman legion]

how do you even murder people without savescumming? for me it feels way too risky to actually start murder schemes...

[Slippin Jimmy]

Originally posted by Albob:

how do you even murder people without savescumming? for me it feels way too risky to actually start murder schemes...

If your murder scheme chances are far too low, denounce them then imprison them, there may be a war, but once you imprison them send them to dungeon and repeatedly torture them, they will die soon enough.

But even if your murder scheme plot has 0%, have a look at who else is willing to join, bribe enough people and its usualy easy enough to max 95% chance.

Alternatively, start a war or go raiding, raise a tiny army/raiding party appoint the person you want dead as the commander of that army and suicide it into an enemy stack.