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Not sure if I'm just lucky but Things I think might help,
Never give family members titles. No matter how much they like you or you like them.
I dont use the grant title button but use the find character button to give out titles.
Search for lowborn same religon and culture familyless. which also helps with titles leaving the realm
If I take over a large area at once, like a holy war I would make sure I cleared out all the wrong religion including cities. I would grant titles to young lowborns with no family, might help if you filter for craven and content, and avoid ambitious and stuff but I dont bother but that will help, I just make sure they arent lustful. Then grant the duchy capital to an old lowborn guy, Its not vital but its what I do.
Dont give multiple counties out, one county per vassal, if they want more they have to fight for it, dont help them, and only when you run out of space and are over limit start duking them one at a time keeping you under the limit. Same with kings, I have about 60 dukes before I make anyone a king. By this point you should be pretty resistant to rebellions.
A useful way around this being an issue once you have good inheritance is to start a branch of your family without claims to anything important. You can use members of that branch to hold some duchies and countries. just be careful with how fast you hand out titles to them because they have the potential to merge up after a death or two.
Revoke everything you can from non-dynasty members. Revoke everything but 1 county from dynasty members when you can, especially if you can then pass them off to be someone else's vassal. A good example is if you have a naughty Duke. you can take his Duchy (lol) and then give it to someone else (with a county in the de jure Duchy I recommend), and make the previous Duke their vassal so they never bother you again.
I also force everyone passing through the dungeon to renounce their claims (unless they are paying a hefty ransom and I could use that)
Avoid taking enough land to make a second Empire until you can change succession laws (if you want to keep the land in the second Empire); equally useful may be just picking a good Emperor as your new neighbor and hope your heirs can maintain friendship with theirs. You conquer one direction, they go the other. If you can find a dynasty member with no claims that would be a good candidate, big claimless line of succession ideal. That way they won't have claims on your stuff for a while. They'll probably marry one of your vassals' family members or something eventually for an alliance. I'm getting pretty close to a second Empire title due to enthusiastic vassals pushing out the borders; I guess I could let a few Duchies go independent to drop under the percentage, but I think I'll try making my heir's heir the neighboring Emperor and see if I can eventually inherit them together into one realm again. No idea if that will work or if it's an oops I screwed up my succession
Another thing to remember is that with partition (and maybe some other laws, haven't got there yet) you can't really land your primary heir until your other heirs have a county, and even then I think it's limited to capital duchy's counties only (unless you are holding a WHOLE BUNCH of counties where the Primary heir would have to receive more counties for an even partition). However, you can land your primary heir's heir (so your grandshild usually) as much as any other character. That way you can get it back when they ascend to Emperor, and hand out a bunch of goodies in the form of transfer of new vassals to the de jure lieges. This works well with higher titles; the eventual heir can then grant the duchy and transfer vassalage to the de jure King vassal, which pleases them. If your grandchild holds a Kingdom, they can hold it as Emperor or more likely grant it to a now very happy vassal (I usually give it to a Duke in the Kingdom in question).
The easiest way to get there fast is to take the feudal contracts of all your vassals, and change it to High Taxes and Low Levies (you won't need a hook and won't get tyranny, because it's considered a fair trade). Add in the Scutage special contract if you have the technology. You will now be getting a lot more money to invest into your domain, while leaving your vassals with less to invest in theirs.
Your power will grow much faster than that of your vassals, leaving you as the undisputable top dog.
The game encourages you to get themout of the realm, dynstay members are better off ruling in other peoples kingdoms
I like to think that eventually in the far future they send the dynasty founder back in time because someone had to go start the dynasty and he was the biggest jerk they knew (had all the bad traits except for all the congenital positives) as a sort of time travelling astronaut goofball.
I plan to switch to the first way of marrying them to rulers outside the realm for dynasty points once the dynasty is so large that it continues to have unlanded members to give titles to even with the attrition of sending away dynasty members to marry rulers and heirs. I also made women equal in a religious reformation so that opened them up to receive titles too, so that helped reaching that point quite a bit.
I did consider releasing some dynasty members as independent allies for more dynasty points but I figured they would end up killing each other even more than usual. Maybe if I put them on opposite sides of the main realm...
EDIT: Here was where I left off, this guy just died:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2406109790
I'll see if I can get a picture of the living dynasty member number.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2406132461
I tried to do the family tree with all the branches closed except straight up from the current ruler, but the game crashes when I try to reveal the family tree upwards once I reach a certain point. It is the grandaughter of the founder I think, so plenty of generations back.
Positive Congenital Traits (due to rulers marrying in-dynasty for the most part with the genetics dynasty path thing)
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2406147775
Random unsorted courtiers
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2406147799
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2406147827
0 revolts in centuries, they are too busy hating each other.