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On the other hand, if you're able to form a kingdom, while also having multiple duchies, when your ruler dies, your oldest will get the "lion-title" (aka the kingdom-title) while the younger siblings will get whatever duchy & county titles that your ruler have.
Same thing applies once your character rules multiple kingdoms, once that happens, if your character dies, there will be a fracture where your children will divide the kingdoms upon themselves.
In order to prevent this, you need to create an empire, the highest possible title. If you still have the inheritance law that leads to your children dividing the land "equally" upon themselves, then at the very least all of those children kings/queens will be ruled by your main character, the emperor.
Whenever you want to conquer, I suggest you paying attention to what duchy-, kingdom- and empire- titles are available to you. Focus on conquering in a way that leads to you being able to get the top-rank title the fastest, before your ruler dies and your land fractures again.
Hope that helped. :)
Confederate partition is especially dangerous because it creates titles equivalent to that of your highest title if you have enough de jure territory.
Example: let's say you managed to create the empire of kanem-bornu (congrats!). Well if you then have 74 de jure counties out of the uncreated Guinea empire (just to the southwest of kanem bornu), confederate partition will create that empire title for you - and thus if you have 2 children, it will make the younger one independent and give him/her the newly created empire even if you didn't create the title yourself!!!
So even once you advance to empire status, don't take too many territories out of unformed empires. You really need to pass the partition law (early medieval era -> hereditary rule is the research name) so new titles aren't formed for you if you want to conveniently hold ALL of africa without the worries of splitting empires.
Life in the fast lane bb.
-marry only women above the age of 45
-take lovers
-when a healthy boy is born from my affairs i announce he is mine
-only do this with one boy
the downfalls are:
-you mostly get shunned depending on your religion (earn the trait "adulterer")
-your heir will have the negative reputation of being born out of wed
the positive effect:
-you have only one heir - your realm stays intact
-with lovers you can be certain that at least the first born is really yours
its good to have a few more bastards/wildoats running around - if your heir turns out unfit disinherit him and reveal the secret of a child from one of your other lovers (pin all your lovers in case they are no members of your court)
PS: take your son as ward and adopt is an option sometimes - that way you avoid negative side effects of adultery
Yes you may lose land but independent rulers of your dynasty increase renown gain.
If you're a Duke or King make sure you have one duchy title for each of your heirs with at least one county in each of those duchies.
If you really want those lands back, your primary heir will get a claim on those titles so after a (few) war(s) they will be back under your control.
Your primary heir will also inherit your MaA's so you should have the upper hand.
:D i had some bad expierence doing it that way - but its a way.
also was really hard when you are part of a polygamous religion (africa has lots of them) - i had 12 children - even when fighting the land back there were so many factions against me - everyone wanted to see someone else on the throne. i abandoned the game after the thrid succesor - it just became not worth it - i couldnt gain much gold, couldnt progress.
thats when i started thinking about ways to keep my heirs limited.
Your issue is factions and not succession. Factions can be held under control by military strength and/or diplomacy. You could also put a little intrigue in there, can't be a claimant when your dead :D.