Privacy problem (side affairs never stays secret)

[Fula]

Had anyone have a side affair (lover) that had not been exposed？ I played 150 hours+ but my side relationships NEVER have stayed secret, except my character or lover suddenly died from plaque or disease. I don't think it is realistic when your side affairs become public every time. It makes seduction and other love affairs a big disadvantage, because you have only penalties from that. Maybe the intrigue way of live needs some skills that will help to keep secrets.

[50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey]

I've had plenty of things stay secret, including affairs and murders. In my recent playthrough I had blobbed to encompass all of Britannia, Francia, Iberia, and the HRE, when I decided I'd grab the 'seduce 10 people as 1 character' achievement as apparently I had somehow missed that one thusfar.

So I took my new ruler into the seduction specialty, and I literally ♥♥♥♥♥♥ half the landed women in Europe and the Near East. Including the wife of the Byzantine emperor. They had something like 5-6 kids together, all but one of which was actually mine. The Basillisa held onto the secret for like 50 years, none of it ever came out. I did murder the one poor guy who wasn't my kid, whoopsie.

Also, don't be too afraid of the penalties. Adulterer, Fornicator, even Murderer and Kinslayer are just one time hits to your general opinion. Unless you're doing all this wild ♥♥♥♥ when you're 18 and fresh to the throne and still dealing with general vassal discontent, you should be perfectly fine. You can only be labeled those things once after all, and future 'reveals' of the same thing just hurt your opinions with the people you directly wronged instead of everyone. And let's be honest, those people aren't important anyway, right?

EDIT - One thing I have noticed that is a bit strange is that it seems affairs/illegitimate kid secrets seem to 'come out' more than murders, when I would suspect that the opposite might be true, given that murder plots frequently encompass far more than 2 participants, many of those participants are motivated by bribes, implying they could also then be bribed to spill the beans, and that there probably are paper trails created by all this plotting and bribing, whereas two people ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in secret would seem easy to keep under wraps, even if there was a babby as a result.

[Fula]

Originally posted by 50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey:

EDIT - One thing I have noticed that is a bit strange is that it seems affairs/illegitimate kid secrets seem to 'come out' more than murders, when I would suspect that the opposite might be true, given that murder plots frequently encompass far more than 2 participants, many of those participants are motivated by bribes, implying they could also then be bribed to spill the beans, and that there probably are paper trails created by all this plotting and bribing, whereas two people ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in secret would seem easy to keep under wraps, even if there was a babby as a result.

Yes, that's true, murders have much more participants, but much less chance to be exposed. Even if your lover dies NPC still trying to blackmail you with old secret. It looks ridiculous when a poor duke comes to your Emperor and blackmailing him with old side affair. How HOW THE HELL is possible that all your family and Church and kids believe this small fry and don't believe you, especially considering that your lover is already dead and can't confirm this. DOES NPC HAVE A VIDEOTAPE or PHOTOS where we are doing our dirty things ?????

[50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey]

Originally posted by fula17:

Originally posted by 50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey:

EDIT - One thing I have noticed that is a bit strange is that it seems affairs/illegitimate kid secrets seem to 'come out' more than murders, when I would suspect that the opposite might be true, given that murder plots frequently encompass far more than 2 participants, many of those participants are motivated by bribes, implying they could also then be bribed to spill the beans, and that there probably are paper trails created by all this plotting and bribing, whereas two people ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in secret would seem easy to keep under wraps, even if there was a babby as a result.

Yes, that's true, murders have much more participants, but much less chance to be exposed. Even if your lover dies NPC still trying to blackmail you with old secret. It looks ridiculous when a poor duke comes to your Emperor and blackmailing him with old side affair. How HOW THE HELL is possible that all your family and Church and kids believe this small fry and don't believe you, especially considering that your lover is already dead and can't confirm this. DOES NPC HAVE A VIDEOTAPE or PHOTOS where we are doing our dirty things ?????

I would suspect that the 'proof' is an abstracted version of having figured things out by watching the calendar, especially when it comes to illegitimate kids. "Hmmm, I'm pretty sure my liege was away fighting in XYZland all of January 1186", some guy thinks to himself. "And yet, his wife was obviously preggers that same year by Mid Feb, and the King still hadn't been home from the war yet. PLUS, the kid looks suspiciously like that Duke that kept coming to visit here for strange reasons right around that same time, despite our King being at that battle at the time. Busted!"

So not photo or video, obviously, but rather probably a series of logical inferences that would have most people, including all your family and the Church going "Wait a minute, that dude is correct."

[Fula]

But if she was't pregnant？ How it can be proofed ? Still it is very strange that everyone believe a third guy and don't believe Emperor's word.

And at the same time when everybody knows about your bastard you can't take the child to your family and accept him. You can only do so when the child is born, if you prefer too keep it secret, you will never have a chance too accept your child. Even if all the map (which is funny too) will know that this child is your bastard ))

[50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey]

Originally posted by fula17:

But if she was't pregnant？ How it can be proofed ? Still it is very strange that everyone believe a third guy and don't believe Emperor's word

You're trying to impose strict details on something that is clearly meant to be an abstracted system.

No preggers? How about copies of old love letters and poetry? The flavor text for all the various forms of seduction/romance type events make it pretty clear this sort of thing is going on, and given the practical limitations of communication back in the day, it's probably a good bet that either you or the lover left some form of hard evidence like this.

[angel of derp]

For whatever reason, my early game rulers never hold onto any secrets. Even with a not-incompetent Spymaster, all my secrets become known to every Vassal without fail.

It's quite frustrating how every secret my ruler has gets known to everyone, especially in the early game.

Mid/late game, you can actually do intrigue without losing every secret every time. Strangely, the bigger your Domain, the easier it is to hold on to the secrets.

[Fula]

I am an emperor and my secrets always go viral. Every boy know that i practice evil rituals.

[VayneVerso]

I'm such a square; I always try to live these virtuous lives, because I absolutely hate having secrets. I know it's not a very RP way to play, but these opinion modifiers are a real pain until you're deep into your reign.

Only once did I go deep into intrigue, and I just seduced random women all over the world. I didn't really mess with the wives of other rulers.

I do feel like you should get a weak hook on your bastards to bring them to your court later, as long as they're not part of a landed dynasty.

[Fula]

Exactly, it is too big opinion decrease for side affairs, considering that it always go viral. I even get the minus opinion of my wife (who later tried to kill me) because of my two lovers and bastards, But the problem is my wife is ADAMIT and their creed doesn't punish you for side relationships, they accept it. I seduced the NPC ruler's wife and get minus opinion from husband BUT they both were ADAMIT. It is illogical to get same amount of opinion decrease with NPC whose religion accepts lovers and bastards and the NPC who doesn't consider it acceptable.