Heir's Wife and Kids at Different Court?

[SnuffSaid]

I don't get it. I'd gotten into the habit of educating my grandkids so they are ready to take over, but for some bizarre reason my current heir's wife is "visiting" another factions hold and she's taken the kids with her, so I have no control over their education. Her husband (my son) is at my court but she refuses to accept an invitation. I can't figure out why, she's not landed and has no titles, I'm confused as to how she has any power over the children's location or the ability to refuse her king's requests.

[Lord Lurk]

Are you sure you didn't do a matrilineal marriage by chance?

[SnuffSaid]

Originally posted by Lord Lurk:

Are you sure you didn't do a matrilineal marriage by chance?

99% sure I didn't accidentally click that. She was only chosen for trait breeding purposes, she's unlanded and hasn't gain any titles or claims since the wedding. I just don't know what "visiting" means. This really should be an excuse for war with her "host" because it feels like a very polite kidnapping of my heirs. I'm not sure if murdering her will return the kids to my court either, that scheme would take a few years too.

[NorPhi]

This seems to be a bug or weird mechanic that sometimes happens and the game does not tell you about. Your heirs will still come back if they inherit, but the lack of education really hurts...

[SnuffSaid]

Originally posted by NorPhi:

This seems to be a bug or weird mechanic that sometimes happens and the game does not tell you about. Your heirs will still come back if they inherit, but the lack of education really hurts...

The result of me murdering the mother is the kids moved to another random hold in Sweden, despite the fact their previous "host" was a lord in France. I genuinely have no idea what the logic behind this could be, so I'm going with a bug. Not sure how I can salvage this situation either.

[NorPhi]

Creative succession edition?

[NorPhi]

I think I figured this one out. There is an event that makes the spouse go visit other courts. If this happens while she is pregnant and the child is born there, it will become a courtier of whoever court she was visiting and she gets stuck as "visiting" rather than "guest".

[VayneVerso]

This has happened in my game. I assigned my wife as guardian to a vassal's child and didn't look closely enough to notice that she was going to go stay in his court. The problem is that she took my kids with her! Okay, so I broke the guardianship and my wife came back no problem, but my kids are stuck there! It's really irritating, because my player heir was amongst the group that went with her.

What you *can* do is to offer them guardianship in your court, which does bring them back, but not as permanent court residents--they're flagged as guests, which means that you can't then send them anywhere else in order to get a better education. I have no idea what this means for when they come of age and get married. My concern is that they're going to become wanderers or some nonsense.

[Commander Boreale?]

if you are head of house/dynasty (not sure which) you should get a hook on everyone in your line. once the kids are adult you can invite them to court (and use the hook to compel them if they are inclined to say no). it won't fix the education problem, but if you can at least avoid their prior host putting them in terrible marriages if you invite them back shortly after they reach adulthood

[VayneVerso]

Originally posted by Commander Boreale?:

if you are head of house/dynasty (not sure which) you should get a hook on everyone in your line. once the kids are adult you can invite them to court (and use the hook to compel them if they are inclined to say no). it won't fix the education problem, but if you can at least avoid their prior host putting them in terrible marriages if you invite them back shortly after they reach adulthood

Yeah, I'm not, unfortunately. I started playing one of the cousins a while back, so I'm only head of my newly-formed cadet dynasty, or whatever. I don't seem to have hooks on anybody except for the one daughter that was born *after* I became dynasty head. Funny how this works. Feels like the weak hooks should get applied retroactively to all your kids.

[NorPhi]

The previous head of house already had hooks on them, so the game would need to track this and if they were used already, so this would open up some rabbit hole that's probably required the whole hook system to be reworked (wouldn't be too bad, hooks are either overpowered or useless with little in between).

I had a case where my sons spouse was wandering, not sure why, maybe she evaded being arrested.